Surprise!
by Dutchman02
Summary: It's Holly's 87th, or 90th, birthday. However, she isn't really looking forward to celebrate her day of birth. Foaly brought here a present that could change her mind. Her birthday starts a new chain of events. Now a series!
1. Surprise!

**A/N**

Hey everyone, this is a one-shot of holly's 87th birthday. Everything will be explained as the story goes one. However, _you _can change the fate of this story. Will it remain a one-shot or has it potential to blossom into a story? _Review _and state your opinion.

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_**Surprise**_

**Haven City**

**Holly Point of View (HPOV)**

Happy Birthday. Hmpf. My eighty seventh birthday – ninetieth if you count the years that I missed when I was at Hybras. I bet the my colleagues at the LEP have prepared some sort of party. This was going to be another wonderful day.

Not.

Why? Why did I not like my birthday? Starting with the fact that I did not have any family left that actually cared for me and it only reminds me that I still am the same person, the devoted-to-my-work-female-LEP-Captain – sorry 'Major'. That is right, two and a half year ago I was promoted to Major, just a few months after I returned from the past and healed Angeline Fowl. Thirdly, it reminds me of how long it's been since I've seen my best friend.

Groggily I removed myself from my bed, missing the warmth and closure of the sheets already. After grabbing a short shower I dressed myself in the green LEPrecon uniform. Although the female uniform did change a little in these past two years – NO, it did not turn into a skirt, much to Foaly's disappointment and the majority of my male colleagues. Instead it had become 'more aerodynamic' as Foaly put it. But I know he just wanted an excuse to make the uniform hug my curves just as close that it felt like a second skin. Not for his own pleasure, but for my displeasure. The first few months after the change I had to deal with drooling officers that were coming to me with the most stupidest questions, just to drool some more over me.

I arrived at the LEP station, checked in at the reception and took the elevator to the floor where my desk was. Yes, my promotion got me a nice, big desk. Just like I always wanted. Not. I almost chuckle at myself, I didn't know I liked these 'not-jokes', but already made two of them today. My job involved going through numerous files that I didn't even know existed when I was a captain. I had to read reports from scouting missions, speak/scold officers that made mistakes and occasionally brief a strike force. Mostly it was filling in forms or checking if forms were filled in correctly. After a week of this torture I felt bad for the Majors that were in charge of me, most of the reports were about mistakes made or rules bent by the LEP officers. I am still the record holder in that department.

The worst part was that I hardly got any time above ground. The last time I went above ground was to complete the ritual three months ago. And commander Kelp went with me so I did not have the opportunity to meet Fowl. I can't even remember when the last time was that I met him face to face. I guess that it was when I told him of my promotion, almost two years ago. We kept in touch for a few months but eventually that slowly stopped. I vow never to speak my next thoughts out loud, but I missed him. Maybe a bit more than completely necessary, he was a good friend after all, my best friend even.

The elevator doors opened and I noticed something was off. For one, it was quiet, and two, the lights were off. I stepped inside and didn't even have to wait. "Surprise!" The lights went on and in the center of the room was a large birthday cake with the inscription 'Happy ninetieth birthday Holly!'. Even though I did not like celebrating my birthday and the fact that I still _am _eighty seven years old, it brought a smile to my face. Commander Kelp walked towards me and congratulated me. "Happy birthday, Holly." I kissed his cheek and he blushed. I knew he liked me, but I could not reincorporate the feelings.

He placed a party hat on top of my head. "You will _not _remove this until the end of the day. I'll have Foaly spy on you." He said semi-serious and I decided to just keep it on.

After Trouble followed the rest of my friends. Foaly had come out of his cave – command booth – and was accompanied with his wife Caballine. He congratulated me too and Caballine gave me a present. I unwrapped it and it was a beautiful strapless black dress that came till me knees. "Thank you."

"You will receive my present later." Foaly said and made way for the next person in line. I could only wonder – and fear – what he had gotten me.

Twenty minutes later I had received a lot of gifts and Commander Kelp ended the festivities. "Alright everybody. Return to your posts. Crime didn't celebrate Major Shorts birthday!"

And I went back to my desk filing reports. I knew it was unheard of to ask for a demotion and the slight raise on my pay check was welcome, but I couldn't help but miss my old job.

At the end of the day there still was a piece of the cake left and I took it home with me. I had moved from my cramped apartment to a rather big one with a guest room even. It was only used once when Caballine decided to have a sleepover at my place. I knew I would spend the rest of the evening on the couch watching Mud Man programs on the television. I dreaded the prospect.

On the streets people looked a bit funny at me. A women in a LEPrecon uniform with a badge proving that she is a Major that was carrying a bag full with presents in her left hand and in her right hand she carefully balanced a box with transparent plastic on top. They could still see the cake inside the box. Oh, and don't forget the party hat that was not place right on top of her head but had moved a little to the left. Yes, I must've been a sight to behold. Though some males probably only noticed my name tag that rested on my... chest. Well, maybe not even the name tag. You get the point.

My left arm was getting tired and I switched the objects in my arms. The the in my left and the bag of presents that I received from everyone in my right. Come to think of it, I did not receive a present from Foaly yet, but he said that I would get it later. Suddenly I dreaded coming home even more, who knows what he could have done to my home.

I stood before the door of my house, trying to open the door but failing miserably with my hands preoccupied carrying my gifts. Of course, everyone always tries to open the doors first without emptying their hands. People like to challenge themselves, see if they can do it. When you fail you can always put something down and use your empty hands, which is a lot faster and easier.

Behind the door loomed a small dark space. I flicked on the light switch and the small hallway lit up. On the door leading to the living room was a note saying 'Happy Birthday Holly, Foaly', though there was nothing else that seemed off. I opened the door slowly, preparing myself for any traps. It seemed safe and I made my way into the dark living room. Only a small ray of light from the hallway found it's way there.

When I hit the light switch a pair of hands obstructed my view. "Happy Birthday, Holly." A familiar, but unexpected voice whispered in my ear. I yelped and elbowed my attacker in the ribs, but he dodged it carefully. "You don't want to damage Foaly's present, do you?" I turned around and there he stood. Artemis Fowl. I hug him feverishly, don't caring how he got here, but just enjoying the fact that my best friend is had come to see me. "Now that is the reaction I had been waiting for." He smirked.

"I missed you," I whispered against his shirt and inhaled. He still smelled the same.

"Would it be very out of character to say that I missed you too?" He placed his hands om my back and returned the hug.

"A Fowl showing his emotions? Yes that would be out of character," he chuckled lightly.

He then pulled himself out of the hug and looked at me. "Hey, are you crying?" Was I? I didn't notice. "Did Major Short turn into an emotional wreck these few years?"

I punched his arm. "Elves are emotional creatures, you dork." I retorted, but the remark didn't held any sharpness. I used this chance to observe the change in him. And boy, did he change... He didn't grow that much in length since I last seen him, but he grew some muscles. Not too much, but he wasn't the skinny boy he was a few years ago. His Armani suit was also gone, instead he wore black trousers and a casual white button-down shirt. Lastly his hair wasn't neatly combed, instead it was a bit unruly. To say he was good-looking would be an understatement. What am I thinking, I corrected myself and my cheeks heated up slightly.

I blushed even more when I noticed that he was doing exactly the same as I was. He was taking in my appearance as well. He had never seem me outside of the LEP uniform and before the change in the uniform it wasn't that... tight. He only gave me a quick look over, but I noticed that he had trouble not to let his eyes wander too much. As he reached my face he locked his mismatched eyes with mine. It surprised me to see that he did not cover up his hazel eye with a blue contact and it made me feel a bit... happy.

"I'm sure you have many unintelligent creatures drooling over you as you walk with these changes in your outfit." Artemis said.

"Is that a compliment Artemis?" Did he really just give me a compliment? He sure has become nice.

"If you miss the fact that I said _unintelligent, _then yes."

Take that back. "I take it you aren't trying to let your eyes wander?"

"No, but at least I manage not to drool." And he winked. _Artemis freaking Fowl winked. _Okay, that caught me off guard and I started a coughing fit. He noticed my current discomfort and instead of teasing he changed the subject. "So, do you still want my gift?"

"You being here isn't my gift?" I asked incredulously.

"No, that is Foaly's gift. He smuggled me in here, even commander Kep doesn't know because he would never allow it." He smirked. "I helped him, of course, but he did most of the work."

"Well then, I would like to receive my gift." He didn't move. "Can I have it?" Still no response. "Artemis, give it to me!" He just shook his head. I was starting to get really anxious of what gift he would give to me. I had no idea what kind of present he would have brought here. "Can I please, please, please have my gift?" I almost pleaded now and threw in a pout. His resolve faltered lightly, or so it seemed to me at least. "Pwetty please?" I said while moving closing to torture Artemis.

He coughed and moved back. "Not until later this evening." Artemis said with a firm voice. The tease! First saying he brought a gift, he himself brought up the subject, and then not giving it to me. I will get my revenge later this evening!

**Artemis POV**

When Holly unleashed the full force of her pout I almost gave her the two gifts I had gotten for her. Well, there was one gift I would give her for sure this evening, but the other I was not so sure of. You know, a genius always reveals his plans at some stage in the story. I, however, am smarter than most genii and that is why I will keep you in the dark. But you have to know I did make a plan, it all started the moment Foaly contacted me about Holly's birthday.

He called me two days ago when I was working on a new method of energy storage, one that could grant me another Nobel Prize. When I heard that Holly's birthday was coming up and Foaly would give 'me' as his gift a plan formed in my mind. I only told Foaly bits and pieces of my plan, not because I didn't trust him, but because he probably wouldn't go through with his gift.

When Holly got her promotion I knew what it meant. We would get to see each other a lot less. Even more so, the last time I _saw _her was when she showed me her badge. I was proud of her, the first female LEP Major. We tried to keep in touch but even that became less over the months.

The last few years without my dearest Captain weren't the best of my life, but they made me realize I could do so much more with my life. So I changed a little. I went out more, not necessarily making friends, but I showed the face behind the genius. I attended social gatherings, spoke with fellow psychologists and other professors. When I first saw my own face on the front page, because I had made Nuclear Fusion a profitable way of creating energy, I didn't like my own appearance. It might have been the hormones that made my care about my appearance, but I wanted to look less stiff. I changed my hair a little, the comb disappeared and an unruly 'out of bed' look appeared. Then I changed to more casual clothes and people could actually see that I was working out. Butler had become quite old, especially with the events during my run in with Jon Spiro that added around 15 years, and he had to retire. Instead of protecting me, he trained me to protect myself.

I almost fell out of my chair when I was praised as the 'most eligible bachelor', shortly after my changed. My mother, who was on _another _honeymoon with my father during that time, called home to see if it wasn't anyone impersonating me. Artemis Fowl Senior just congratulated me and said I could start looking for a woman to share my life with. To be honest, I didn't need to look for them, they looked and – much to my dismay – found me. I turned each and everyone of them down gently, I didn't want to become known as the cold person I used to be.

Then finally Foaly calls and smuggles me into Haven. I break into Holly's apartment and that is where we are right now.

"Not until later this evening." I knew that my reply got the desired reflect when she changed her pout into a vicious glare. "But first, let's have dinner." I guided her to the dining table. The few candles that were placed on the table turned the mood towards cough... romantic... cough. Dinner was already served, but without wine because I knew that fairies weren't allowed to consume alcohol with humans.

"Smells good." She praised. "But wait, did you make this yourself?"

"What is a genius that can't take care of himself?" I smirked. "I had to use your kitchen though, it couldn't be prepared too long beforehand. I hope you don't mind..." I trailed off, giving her the opportunity to interject her opinion. She muttered something that sounded like 'Stupid genius that can do everything he tries.' I guided her to her seat and when she was seated and comfortable I went to mine.

"So, what did you brew?" Holly spoke while poking suspiciously with one fork in her food.

"This is wild mushroom ravioli, don't worry, it is vegetarian."

Now comes the expected reaction: "How did you know I liked wild mushrooms?"

"I didn't." I smirked, making my lie very unconvincing. Holly glared at me, the fire of the candles reflected in her eyes. "Okay, Foaly might have let that one slip." She started on her food, after the first bite she was completely engrossed in finishing her plate. Asking for seconds shortly thereafter.

"That was delicious, Arty! You can come cook in my kitchen everyday." I coughed when the implementation hidden in her words hit me and she turned crimson in soft candlelight. "I... um... didn't mean... you know." She had trouble speaking but I couldn't find myself to make a witty response. Instead I just brought all the dishes to the kitchen, luckily she had a big enough dishwasher and we didn't have to do them ourselves.

"So, what is on the planning now, Mr Fowl? Or do you have to get back to Foaly already." She added the last sentence with slight disappointment in her voice.

"No, I was planning on staying the night with you." Yes, it definitely was my turn to make a totally awkward comment that could be misinterpreted very easily. Holly blushed furiously and even I joined her as I felt blood rising to my cheeks. "Er... that came out wrong, didn't it?" I berated myself on using the non-word 'er'. "We... eh... could go watch a DVD I brought."

"I will go change, you can prepare the television." She motioned to the LEP uniform she was still wearing, which I didn't mind but it would be wrong to say that out loud, wouldn't it?

I smirked at my movie choice, it was difficult to find a movie I had thought she would like, but I found one she would most definitely like.

When Holly returned I was already seated at the couch and was skipping through the numerous channels she could receive here. Though when I saw here in the doorway I realized that casual Holly was _way _better than Holly in uniform She noticed me gawking. _Very intelligent. _.She wore simple skinny jeans and a tight shirt with the text 'the more I drink, the better you look'.

Her couch wasn't small, but also wasn't made for human company. This resulted in our bodies slightly touching when she sat down.

I started the movie and she gasped when she saw the opening credits. "Artemis Fowl?" I smirked. The movie was a screenplay of the first adventure between me and Holly. When I kidnapped her and held her for ransom. Not the best memory, but it was also the start of a beautiful friendship. Even when we couldn't stand each other at the moment, me being her kidnapper and all. "How did you get this, it isn't even in theaters yet!"

"It isn't?" I asked incredulously. "I found it on Foaly's hard drive so I thought it..." I stopped. "You know you could sue him know for hacking into the database of the producers." We both laughed. Foaly was busted. Well, I was busted too, but everyone I knew I always hacked into Foaly's systems, as he did with mine. It was more of a competition between the two of us, just harmless trying to see who is better. I just took the lead with this discovery.

When the movie started she snuggled close to me. I liked the feeling of her body pressed against mine. I draped one arm around her small shoulders and we sat together enjoying the movie. Which was, surprisingly, not that bad. When I first got into view I exclaimed, "Dracula?"

"That would be because of me. I said in an interview that you had this creepy vampire smile." Holly smiled.

The fight scene with the troll made me feel nauseous. I never really know what happened there and this movie was based on statements given by the police, mainly Holly's. She did fend off the troll quite well, but I winced at the fact that she and Bulter had gotten hurt.

At the end of the movie her back was against my chest and she was almost sitting in my lap with my arms around her. The credits showed on screen and I knew this was the moment for my gift. "Holly?"

"Hmm." She moved her body away from mine and looked at my face.

"Close your eyes, I will give you your gift."

"O-okay." She was surprised but shut her eyes nonetheless. I took a golden necklace, laced with a few diamonds, and brought my hands around her neck. My face got closer to hers as I did so and I could feel her breath on my lips, she could probably feel my ragged breaths too. The cold metal of the necklace made her shiver slightly. She still kept her eyes closed and her mouth was slightly opened, as if she was inviting me. _It was now or never, _I thought.

Then I closed the small distance between us.

**Holly POV**

My heart rate had increased to two hundred beats per minute, too much for my small body to handle. His breath on my skin made me go crazy and I was almost disappointed when I felt the cold accessory around my neck. However, when his lips briefly brushed mine all traces of disappointment were gone. I pushed myself forward to get closer to him and my arms found their way instinctively around his neck, my fingers tangling in his hair. Our kiss started off as slow and careful but soon changed into a heated kiss. He was both giving and taking. He pushed me on my back so he hovered above me, not once he took his mouth away from mine. One of his hands was in my short auburn hair and his other was very low on my back, but I couldn't care less as I untangled one of my hands to feel around his body.

Soon, too soon, I had to pull away for lack of oxygen. Damn my small body for less lung capacity. Artemis used his last breath to say very intelligently, "Wow..." He joined me in panting. Both our faces were flushed and our lips were swollen.

"E-even..." pant "the..." pant "A...artemis." _pant... _I can't even form a coherent phrase right now. Just remind me to finish this sentence later to mock Artemis.

We just stared into our eyes. Artemis had a really goofy grin on his face, he must've been planning this all evening, maybe even weeks ahead. I looked at him questionably and cocked an eyebrow.

"I admit, this was... planned. Not completely, like the intensity of the kiss," cue blush, "but the outline of this evening was planned a week ago when I got the call from Foaly. You noticed I got you two gifts..."

"Two? Oh, the necklace!" I jumped up and went to look at myself in the mirror. I heard Artemis' chuckle behind me. "It's beautiful!" I said in awe. The diamonds glistered around my neck."Thank you." I whispered.

"You know, the necklace was actually made from one of the gold bars I got from kidnapping you." He chuckled and a let out a short laugh. Even though he was not proud of that memory, and I wasn't fond of it either, the incident brought forth more good than wrong.

"I brought two gifts because..." Artemis continued explaining his master plan to takeover the world, at least, that is what it sounds like with the dramatic pause he was giving me. It was like the climax when the villain gives away his evil plans to the hero. "Because I knew I had to give you one gift at least, the necklace. That was my backup plan. The main reason was to show you my... heh..." I know he meant that if he didn't get the right signals from me he would have given the necklace and refrained from kissing me. _Was I that obvious?_

He smirked, the final moment before giving away the true genius about his plan. The true objective, his ultimate goal. "To show you my fairy-kissing days were far from over." And he _ruined _it!

If looks could kill Artemis would have died, his soul would have died before it went to heaven and then his body would be turned to ash before one could say 'LEPrecon'. Instead of dying, he just laughed. I scowled even more and before I could stop it he pulled me in for a quick kiss, wiping the scowl from my face. "You're easy to tease. It was to _make you feel my love_." Swoon, he sang that last line, the one from the popular song by Adele. "I love you, Holly."

"I love you too." And our lips met once again. "Remind me to thank Foaly for his gift.

"So, does this mean that you.. um.. want to be my girlfriend?" Somehow this seems awkward coming out of Artemis' mouth. Wonder why...

I laughed. "Of course, stupid Mud Boy." Calling Artemis stupid sure brought satisfaction. "We'd better not tell anyone here yet. I don't know if they will approve, we are from different species after all."

"It is great that you don't want to tell anyone _here." _I nodded, great, he agrees. I smiled. I knew Foaly would pester me forever and I don't know how Trouble would take it. "Because I can't wait for you to meet my mother." I nodded again and Artemis smirked.

Wait... As horror struck my face he had now his characteristic vampire smirk plastered on his face.

Meeting. His. Mother.

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I hope you liked the little one shot. Please review.

Again:_you _can change the fate of this story. Will it remain a one-shot or has it potential to blossom into a multi-chaptered story? _Review _and state your opinion.


	2. Meeting Mom

**A/N**

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the reviews I got on the previous chapter. I replied to most of them. If I missed yours I am sorry, didn't mean to.  
Anyway, this is the next chapter, you guys have done great to the reviews and I decided to update pretty fast. For my doing, at least.  
I should've said in the first chapter that my native language is Dutch, I am from the Netherlands. My English isn't that good so bare with me.  
The more reviews, the more I become tempted to write again :)

This chapter has some implied stuff, nothing much but I just thought I should point it out.

**Disclaimer: **_If I owned Artemis Fowl Holly and Artemis would've done a lot more than kissing in the latest book ;). Also counts for the previous chapter, I am too lazy to edit._

_

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_**Meeting Mom**

**Outside Tara, HollyPOV**

Please tell me again why I'm doing this. This was pure insanity. Digging my own grave. Knocking on Death's door. Having a tea party with Opal, a troll _and _a gorilla. Meeting Artemis' mother. All fit in the same category.

Again. Why was I doing this? _Because you love him. _My mind replied. I knew it meant a lot for Artemis if I was to meet his mother. He has always cared for his mother, no matter the situation. When he was his cold, young self. Artemis trades half of his acquired gold just to have me heal his mother's depression. He would even lie to me, just to ensure that his mother would be okay.

I used to be angry at Artemis for telling me that lie, saying that I was the one that infected his mother, when he knew that I wasn't. However, when I put myself in that same position I probably would have done the same. I know how it is to have your mother die and I wouldn't wish that for anyone in the world. I was glad that he told me the truth, no matter how much it had hurt. Artemis' told me that he couldn't go on without telling me, even if it meant destroying our friendship.

Now we are around two and a half year later, exactly four days and three hours since Artemis had kissed me on my birthday and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I still got all giggly when I thought about the genius struggling to ask me to be his girlfriend. After kissing me senseless. And that he had done.

He had left two hours later that evening and we didn't meet in person until now. At least, it was supposed to be this 'now' five minutes ago. I was sitting unshielded on a rock outside of Tara. Enjoying the as many rays of sunlight I could get. The artificial lights produced by Haven's city lights are nothing close to the real deal. This definitely isn't a good impression Artemis is making on his 'first' date with his girlfriend.

Then again, which girl immediately meets the mother on her first date? Technically, I have met her before, but she never met me. I wonder what she'll think. Would she think that I am not good enough for her son?

A roaring engine brought me back to the present time. In the distance a vehicle was rapidly approaching, it was a black sports car with tinted windows. It was closing in at a speed of at least 200 km/h (around 125 mph). The car spun 180 degrees around and stopped on the nearest road to Tara. I ran to the car as the driver opened the door, I already knew who was inside.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't get away sooner." Artemis apologized. I never was angry with him and just kissed him instead. Artemis got out and opened the door for me. "After you, milady." I all but tripped over my own feet, earning a snicker from my boyfriend. Once on the floor I started giggling and that turned into a laugh. "What did I do, Holly?"

"I'm... sorr-y..." I said between laughing fits. I continued when I calmed down. "I just imagined the eleven year old you saying that and I couldn't stop myself. I didn't expect you to be such a..." I trailed off, couldn't find a word.

"Gentleman?" I nodded. "Then you would be surprised. I have changed in these last few years. For the better I hope. I take it you like speed?" I nodded and sat down in the comfortable leather seats. The car roared, showing that it was alive. Without warning the car shot forward and reached 100 km/h _(62 mph)_ just under 3 seconds. After overcoming the initial shock, Artmis knew to choos his rides, I relaxed in the seat and studied the interior of the car. I doubted much of the original stuff was still there. Artemis had all kinds of tracking devices built inside the car. This was more of a James Bond car than a civilian's car.

"Where are the buttons for the rocket pods?" I asked jokingly. Artemis must've missed the joke as he removed a cap and it showed eight buttons. At the same time a small cross hair appeared on a screen. No. Way. "You're not serious, are you?"

"It was Butlers idea, to be honest. He told me that when driving a vehicle alone you are very vulnerable for attacks." Artemis said while watching the road carefully. I could only agree with Butler there, but that doesn't mean you have to build in eight rockets... I just nodded and motioned towards the different gadgets in the car. "That one is a GPS system with built in sonar. It shows all the cars on the roads within two square kilometers and it has a radar system that shows where the police patrols are." It was a plasma screen with an accurate display of the roads nearby. Now he pointed to a different screen. "That is my music player, everywhere in the car are speakers. Just pick a song you like."

Well, lets see what the Mud Man has for music. I'm putting my money on Beethoven, Bach, Mozart and Debussy. Maybe some Wagner. Probably nothing I'd really enjoy, maybe a one time only but not something for on my music player. Much to my surprise I noticed some Mud Man bands even I knew. "Flogging Molly? U2?" I laughed. "Are your Irish roots winning from the classics?"

"Those bands are actually quite good. I heard them on a few social events and some of their songs just caught my interests. Besides, I may like Beethoven, but that doesn't mean that I can't like rock or anything else." A well formulated response, it surprised me that he attended that much social events, even those with people from his age, because most professors do not listen to Flogging Molly. "I especially like the older rock bands. For example, Bon Jovi, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, U2, of course, and Bruce Springsteen."

"Oh, Bon Jovi. I love that band!" I went looking for their songs and soon 'Livin' on a prayer' was blasting through the speakers. I turned up the volume until I was practically shaking in my seat on the sound waves produced by the speakers. Artemis looked at me amused, not annoyed as I had expected, when I started singing along the chorus. "_Oh, we're half way there... Oh, oh! Livin' on a prayer!" _That was when Artemis started laughing, probably at me singing off key, but I could care less and the song ended too soon.

The next song happened to be 'I don't want to miss a thing' by Aerosmith. Again Artemis choice amazed me, but the lyrics to this song are so beautiful. "_I_ _don't wanna close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep. 'Cause I'd miss you, baby and I don't want to miss a thing. 'Cause even when I dream of you __The sweetest dream would never do. I'd still miss you, baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing." _I sang. I expected to hear my boyfriend laugh again. Instead he kissed me softly. Keeping his eyes open, as I did. We didn't want to miss a thing.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful voice." He whispered in my ear.

"Eh, yeah. You have a lot more groveling to do for making me meet your mother so soon!" I joked.

The car stopped driving and we had arrived at my inescapable death. The Fowl Manor. "Artemis... I'm not so sure." I said while getting out of the car. My hands were shaking nervously when closing the door. Sure, fighting trolls, crazed pixies, demons and traveling in time was all fine but meeting the mother of your boyfriend was not?

Fowl, yes I referred to his surname now, knocked on the door once then he turned to me. "Shh. It will be fine." He took my shaking hands in his and held them gently. Then he wrapped one arm around my waist and the other _very _low around my back and pulled me to him. Artemis softly brushed his lips against mine to reassure me. I needed a lot more of that to reassure me and crashed mine to his. Deepening the kiss to keep him close to me. Afraid to let go and meet his mother.

However his mother had different plans. A scream disrupted our kiss. "Artemis Fowl! What in heavens name are you doing?!" Angeline Fowl had opened the door while we were making out. She was beautiful and very healthy. And _very _angry. "First you decline all the offers you get to date the girls that are practically jumping on you and then I see you kissing – making out – with a girl who could be your daughter!" Horror struck my face because of three reasons. One, she could see me and could see that I didn't quite look human. Two, the first impression she got was me making out with her son, who was still straightening out his shirt. Third, she probably thought his son was a... a... pedophile.

"I... um... you see..." Even Artemis was at a loss of words.

"You, Artemis Fowl, are coming with me right now. Just be glad I do not call the cops!"

I felt that I needed to help Fowl, it was my fault at most. I was the one that deepened the kiss. "Excuse me." I started in a small voice. "It was my mistake." I said fidgeting with the hem of my blouse.

"Holly, no-" Artemis started but was cut off by his mother.

"Artemis, how could you? Manipulating this girl that she would give herself up for you! I know what you can do with people but you don't have to use that ability for your own perverse goals!" Angeline yelled at Artemis. I shrank visibly, I was probably ten centimetres shorter than before, and horror was the only expression currently in my face.

I looked Artemis in the eyes to look for help. He only looked at me for one full second before doubling over. He was laughing so hard that I thought he had finally snapped and gone crazy. Send him to the loony bin! Then I heard a new laugh joining in. Angeline Fowl was laughing with her son and _at _me. "Y-you... should've... s-seen... your... face!" Artemis exclaimed between laughing fits.

I scoffed and wrapped my arms around my chest. Not know why he was laughing while being in such a grave situation. "I'm sorry, Holly. It was just too much fun..." Angeline said. Was she bipolar, just like my Arty? She just was angry but now she's all sweet. Wait. How did she know my name?

Then it all clicked. I stomped towards the still laughing Artemis, I didn't even know he could laugh that much, and glared angrily at him. It silenced his laughing but he couldn't help but chuckle as he said, "I'm sorry, Holly."

"You knew all along? _She _knew all along?!" I punched him hard in the shoulder. This was _not _funny! I glared at Artemis and then looked at Angeline. How did she know? She came closer to me, and reached out her hands to do what? Hug me?

"Ouch!" I exclaimed! When she pulled lightly with her hands on my ears.

"Oh my! They _are _real!" Angeline said delighted when I covered my ears embarrassed. "Do they work? You really are a fairy!" I then became angry at Artemis, he betrayed us by telling Angeline. "You're probably wondering how I know and blaming Artemis for it." Can she read my mind? Maybe she is just as smart as the rest of the Fowls. "But blame Opal. I could see all her memories when she took control of my brain. Artemis just filled in a bit of the blanks."

That explained a lot, however, it did not explain why Artemis had to torture me.

**Fowl Manor, ArtemisPOV**

I was still recovering from Holly's punch, she defiantly did not hold back when she hit me. It hurt! Then again, I did deserve it, but it was well worth it. I never laughed that much in my entire life. When I left Holly's apartment I had persuaded her to meet my mother. Ensuring her that 'everything would be alright'. I noticed how worked up she was about meeting my mother and I knew that my mother would accept her easily, after all, she already knew about the fairies.

That was another little fact I must have forgotten to tell Holly. That she knew about the People. The most important issue that I didn't mention was that I had planned a joke for her. A 'Let's-scare-Holly-to-death-joke'. To be honest, I didn't know why I made such plans but I still made them, perhaps the prospect of teasing Holly – again _why? _–was enough for me.

Maybe it was part of loving someone. The fact that you enjoy teasing the other, but still love each other. Well, I did tease her, but at the moment I doubted the 'loving' part. My mother had just explained her how she knew and now Holly all but seemed ready to kick my ass.

"Eh, Holly, it was just a joke." I tried to make amends.

"I didn't know the great Artemis knew the meaning of a joke."

"Of course, how could I not know such things, but Holly, you have to agree that I succeeded in my first prank." I smirked.

"And you just succeeded in getting your first beating by your girlfriend?" She glared manically and approached me with raised fists. "I was nervous for these past few days. I couldn't sleep. Only thinking about how we would tell her that I was a fairy. You could've at least told me that she already knew!" I gulped.

"It must've slipped my mind..." Lame excuse. I knew she thought that too because she snorted.

"Yeah, right. Something slipping the great Artemis Fowl his mind." This was bad, really bad. She used both my complete name and surname, not Arty or Artemis. I looked for help, but my mother already left though I thought I could hear her snicker in the living room.

I retorted to my last resort and pressed my lips to hers. Holly pushed me back. "Don't you dare to think that you can make me forget it by kissing me!" So it was working? I pressed my lips to hers harder. She now returned the kiss. After a minute or so I pulled away, she whimpered at the loss of contact and she was smiling again.

"Forget what?" I taunted her. Holly grumbled a response 'Stupid-good-kissing-genii'. She then smirked and almost yelled at me again, but I pressed one finger on her lips to shut her up. "You're not getting another kiss." Holly looked disappointed. "Let's introduce you to my mother. The right way." She nodded and followed behind me.

We were standing in the great hallway, paintings looked down from both sides down on us. Medieval knight armors guarded both sides of the room. We had many memories here. Not particular pretty ones. This hallway was once destroyed by a troll, Butler almost lost his life and so did Holly. All those things happened during the siege on Fowl Manor nine years ago. Though it was wrong what I did, I didn't regret it. I would never have met Holly if I didn't do what I did. "I don't regret kidnapping you." I voiced my thoughts. Holly looked at me incredulously. "I would never have met you and probably never would have changed for the better." There were tons of more reasons, but those two were the most important.

We had reached the living room by now. My mother was seated at the table, having a chat with Butler. They both looked up surprised at us. I had forgotten that I hadn't told Butler yet, well not forgotten but I just didn't think about it. I never forget anything, but I can't think about everything at the same time. "Moth- mom," My mother always smiles when I say 'mom'. "Butler, meet my girlfriend, Holly." Holly stepped forward and held out her hand, instead of a handshake she was engulfed in motherly hug.

"I'm so glad I can finally meet you!" My mother exclaimed exuberant. "Artemis has told me so much about you. I just couldn't wait till I really met the person that changed him and captured his heart." Yes, leave it to mothers to embarrass you.

"It's great to finally talk to you too." Holly responded. She had 'met' Angeline before, but never really talked to her. The first time she saw here my mother was in a depression and she healed her. The other time my mother was ill, she had Spelltrophy.

Butler just sat that with huge eyes. He couldn't believe what I just said. "Artemis? Holly is _your _girlfriend?" I nodded. "Holly, do you know about this?" She nodded too. "Angeline? You know they are just pulling a prank on you, don't you?"

"Dom, believe it or not, but I saw them making out on the doorstep."

He stood up and walked over to me. "Congratulations." He patted me on the shoulder. Domovoi was more than a bodyguard, he was one of my few friends. One who I could entrust my life to and the life of my other friends. "When am I going to become an uncle?"

Holly and I started coughing at the unexpected question. Not that the question wasn't expected, but we thought that my mother would ask it, definitely not Butler. "We... uhm... don't know yet."

"Oh, I really want to be a grandma." My mother exclaimed. Holly was having a hard time, she was bright red probably thinking about what we would need to do in order to have kids. "My dear, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Timmy and I had three kids and we still enjoy it very much." Too much information, I'm everyone in the room thought. Even Butler quickly excused himself from the room, no longer feeling that his presence is needed. Seriously, my mom was the best mother I could wish for, but sometimes she didn't know when to keep her mouth shut!

"Eh... I wouldn't know... I have never..." Holly said something that even surprised me. That said enough because there is not much that surprises a genius. I thought that Holly must've had candidates standing in line to take my position.

**HollyPOV**

"Eh... I wouldn't know... I have never..." Why did I need to say that? Now everyone knows I am in fact a 87-year-old-virgin. I could just tell everyone about my love life – or lack thereof. I dated once in high school, about sixty years ago, but didn't want to give the one thing that was completely mine away to him. After that I never felt the need to, I was busy making my way up to the top. At least they know I didn't sleep myself up to the top of the LEP.

I felt Artemis' piercing gaze on my and I avoided eye contact at all cost. What must he think of me? With such looks he could've gotten any girl in Ireland – scratch that – in the world. Combine that with immense wealth and the fact that he _is _the one of the most eligible bachelors. "I never felt the need to..." I fumbled with the some loose strands of my shirt.

"That's great!" Angeline Fowl exclaimed. "Arty here has never been with a girl too." I looked up at him and he avoided my gaze now. Please, don't make a comment about my age, Arty. I wished I could transmit that message to him with telepathy. Then my boyfriends mother took the conversation the wrong way, again. "I hope it fits, though. You know, with the size difference and all. Humans are bigger in every respect."

Mental images attacked my mind of Artemis and I _doing stuff. _I really didn't mind the attack, honestly I enjoyed it. But then I saw, more like imagined, the sheer size... and it became more of a nightmare than a daydream. I looked up at Artemis and saw he thought the same thing too.

"But of course, that would only increase the pleasure!" Angeline concluded. Meeting the mother of your boyfriend couldn't get any worse. After a long silence Angeline said. "Well, I think I have embarrassed you two enough. My job as a mother is done." She winked and left the living room, to start working in the kitchen.

Artemis and I sat down in silence for a minute or two. "So..." I began.

"I take everything back. Meeting my mother was a bad idea. You were... right." Artemis said reluctant. I smirked, loving the fact that I had it right.

"Yes, it was horrendous!" We laughed together. Suddenly an idea struck my mind. "Let's go to your room, I haven't been there in a while."

We went upstairs, up another stairway, took a corridor left, then one right and finally we arrived at the east wing. "I took a whole wing for myself. The lower floor is a gym, the floor above hold everything that is used by my research. And this is my room, where I sleep and relax sometimes."

His room was for one _huge. _About the size of a basketball field. A king sized bed was on one end of the room. On the other end was a couch that looked very comfortable, a huge plasma screen and a home cinema set. A black grand piano stood proudly in one of the corners, surrounded by stacks of music. CDs, music books, empty sheet music and even some Long Play records albums. "Wow..."

"You like it?"

"I love it!" I skipped over to the piano and touched a few keys. It was perfectly in pitch. "I didn't know you played. Could you play for me sometime?" He agreed to play for me sometime.

I turned around towards Artemis and smiled at him seductively. "So, where were we when your mother interrupted?" Artemis just stared blankly at me. I pushed him into his bed and planted my lips firmly on his. There was nothing sweet and soft about this kiss. Instead it was sexy and heated. My hands slipped under his shirt, trailing patterns across his body. His chest wasn't very muscular, but I could very well feel the muscles beneath my fingers. I removed his shirt then and trailed kissed along his chest, slowly down. "Your mother did have a point when she started about this..." Artemis swallowed loudly. He pulled me back to him and his hands disappeared under my shirt, I gasped at the feeling of his hands on my back.

Then I suddenly pulled away. Smirking I mouthed 'revenge' and walked away, shaking my hips excessively.

**ArtemisPOV**

'Revenge'. I read her lips and cursed. But at the same time I was glad that she pulled away. I had almost ravaged her here and now. She had no idea what she did to me. I watched her walk away, well I watched her behind walk away.

However, I knew she was angry with me, still. And an angry Holly is a terrifying Holly.

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Thanks for reading... Review! :) Artemis still knows how to manipulate people ;) And holly is out for revenge. How will she accomplish that?


	3. Getting Into Trouble

**A/N**

Hey everyone! This is another chapter. I hope it was worth the wait and I hope it was funny to read. I have to say a few things before you continue reading. One: _thanks _for all the reviews you gave me. Two: Holly is still _angry. _Three: Things may be a little explicit. No 'M' Rating. I can't write that (I am not even Mature myself ;P)

Again, I am not a native speaker and have no beta for this story so please bare with me. If you find any mistakes you could point them out (you dont _have _to) to improve my writing and i can edit the chapter and remove the mistakes.

Enjoy.

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**Getting Into Trouble...**

**ArtemisPOV**

**Tara shuttle port**

Why am I waiting for a shuttle at this Elven shuttle port? Foaly called me that he needed help with an experiment. Of course, I made use of the call to pester him about the fact that he needed _my _help. I also recorded the call, that was a chance of a lifetime. When Holly got the news that I was coming she requested to pick me up.

I was already fearing for my life. Holly was still angry with me, not 'break-up angry' but the 'I-will-get-my-revenge angry'. Which is even scarier. Add her reputation as a reckless flier with a core diving record still on her name and you have my current situation. I decided to be a man and don't let my fear show on my face, but on the inside I was shaking scared.

When I entered here I got hit by a buzz baton. The guards apparently didn't know I was coming. Holly had also said that she would tell the guards at Tara, something she apparently 'forgot'. I was still rubbing my behind, being tall isn't a convenience when elves are trying to buzz you. There are only that many places they can reach.

Holly stepped into the terminal and saw me rubbing my behind. She stifled a laugh as I glared at her. "What happened, _Arty?" _I scowled at her amused expression.

"We should go." I said coldly and followed her in the shuttle. I had taken anti-sickness pills when I left my house and I was hoping they would also work when a crazed elf was flying the shuttle. I noticed a malicious glint in her eyes as I strapped myself in next to her as the co-pilot. Not that I would get to do any flying.

"Are you strapped in?" Holly asked with her thump on the 'ignite' button. I nodded coolly, as if I didn't know what was to come. I thought I was prepared.

I wasn't.

The shuttle shot forward and reached Mach 1 in a couple of seconds, breaking the sound barrier. The G-forces working on my body were so intense that I almost felt myself passing out. They became gradually less as the seconds passed, much to my dismay. I'd rather be passed out for the rest of the trip. Holly, however, didn't seem to notice anything. She just smiled and piloted the shuttle as if she was riding a bike.

"Everything okay, Artemis?" She questioned.

"Everything is fine." I managed to squeak out.

"Oh, really?" Holly smirked evilly. "That's good, because you have shown your intelligence off to everyone, now it is time for me to show what I'm good at." Dear lord, help me.

She then jerked on the steering mechanism, turning it 180 degrees around, the shuttle started spinning around in the shaft. Holly laughed, while I shrank in my seat. Suddenly the shuttled made a looping. I closed me eyes. I was going to be sick. I never was one for roller coasters, but they seemed fun next to this torture.

The shuttle suddenly stopped. And I dared to open my eyes again. We had arrived at Haven's shuttle port. Shakily I unstrapped myself and stood up. That was kind of hard with my legs shaking faster than an elf that was shielding.

"Are you alright?" Holly steadied me. "You seem a little... shaken." She chuckled.

"I'm fine. I didn't eat much this morning." Technically this wasn't a lie. In preparation I skipped breakfast, for there was a chance that it would all come back after the flight. As we left the vehicle I saw my reflection in a window. All the tan I had gained from working outside on my laptop had disappeared. Instead I my face was whiter than a vampire's. Breath. Try to get some color back.

"We'd better get you something to eat." Holly dragged me along to a nearby diner. I then noticed that she wasn't wearing her LEP uniform. She was wearing dark blue skinny jeans that hung low on her hips and a short black tank top with the text 'Mesmerize me'. A bit of stomach skin was showing and I didn't mind at all. "Not on duty today?"

"It's weekend. Since the crime rates are dropping I can get a weekend off sometimes. Well, I still need to be on standby in case something happens." Holly elaborated while pulling me inside the restaurant. "A table for two, please." She said to the waiter, a male elf that was checking her out while I was standing next to her. Of course, he didn't think that I, a human, would be her boyfriend. I could do nothing about it, if I did it could ruin Holly's career.

I coughed the waiter looked up, actually surprised to see a human. He didn't even know I was a human and was still checking her out. No manners at all. "Ma'am, you know that you have a Mud Man with you?" He asked her as if I was a pet.

"This happens to be Artemis Fowl." Holly said with authority in her voice. "Is that a problem?"

"No, ma'am, not at all." The waiter showed us our tables and gave us the menu. Figures, there was only vegetarian food here. Well, where would they get the animals for the meat? Maybe it was also because of practical reasons that most of the fairies were vegetarian. They did have a section of seafood. Elven food wasn't much different than human food. I decided on a random fish and a portion of potatoes.

"Have you decided?" The same waiter came back. He only had eyes for Holly.

"Can I have order number 54 with a glass of water, _please?" _I said with a cold voice. The elf noted it down without so much of a glance at me. Again his eyes were all over Holly, but not directed at her face.

"Just a glass of water for me." Holly said. She also glanced at me and mouthed 'what is your problem?'

"Is that all?" The waiter asked. Holly nodded. "Are you sure I can't get you anything else? _Anything?" _

Holly told the waiter that she didn't want anything else. The Elves weren't so different from humans after all. Except for their appearance, technology and magic I'd say they were the same. I scowled at our waiter as he walked away. "What is your problem?" _My _girlfriend asked.

I almost said that he was checking her out, but decided against that phrase. Instead I formulated it differently. "He was rude. He shouldn't ignore me, just because I am a human."

"Yeah, he only paid attention to me..." Holly trailed off and then she smiled knowingly. I was just happy she didn't continue on this subject. I was enjoying the meal and it was quite delicious. Holly occasionally sipped her water but otherwise looked at me dreamily. I quickly finished up and we left the restaurant.

"Foaly must be waiting for us. Let's go." Holly guided me through the busy streets of Haven. I got lots of unwanted attention, every fairy in a mile radius could spot me, I was easily two feet taller than the tallest fairy here. Overhead were many different vehicles flying through the city. The usage of flying cars was very convenient. There were no traffic jams and there was more space available for building placement.

The buildings in Haven were mostly tall skyscrapers, for lack of a better name. There was no real sky here, instead the ceiling of the enormous cave was lit by artificial sunstrips. That created the illusion of day and night. Apparently it was evening now as the intensity of the strips decreased over time. Buildings lit up using plasma as their light source, their billboards lit up to get the attention of nearby elves. Shops were closing and by now the city looked completely different. The fairies were carefree in the evening, no longer work driven.

I hoped that this would remain for another few centuries, but somewhere I knew that wasn't going to happen. Human technology was advancing and slowly closing in on the fairies. It would be less than a century, maybe even fifty years, and the humans would discover the race that was hidden underneath the earth. I shook away the thoughts that followed. There were many scenario's possible. And few of them were favorable for the People. But that was a matter for another time.

We stood before Police Plaza, a heavily defended fortress armed with many Plasma and DNA canons. All were set to stun and knock out, of course. The DNA canons were inactive, I guessed, I would've been toasted if it weren't so. Holly got us inside and brought me towards the Ops Booth, Foaly's Kingdom as one could say.

Foaly opened the door and invites us in. "Hey Fowl, I'm glad you could make it."

**HollyPOV**

"He was rude. He shouldn't ignore me, just because I am a human." Artemis said.

"Yeah, he only paid attention to me..." Then it dawned upon me. He was _jealous. _How sweet. I smiled and lead the way for Artemis. Haven was be a place you could easily get lost in because of the overcrowded streets. Due to the ever growing population Haven kept increasing in size, but out of fear of discovery they tried to slow down the expansion. The main streets became crowded and the buildings became taller. Occasionally this resulted in a Flyer, the vehicles used for transport in Haven, colliding with a building. Luckily the building were quite strong and survived the accident, that didn't apply to the vehicle.

In these three years many things had changed in Haven. For one, the crime rates had been dropping and the Council decided to spend less money on the LEP and more on development. This meant more work for and even less criminality. Of course, there were always goblins and dwarfs that were tempted by the riches of living a criminal live, that was why the LEP still received a fairly big budget. Foaly received the most money. He was, after all, part of the LEP _and _part of the development of Haven. He spent most of his money on his inventions though.

We reached Police Plaza, which had also changed a lot. The defenses had increased, this building was now virtually impossible to lay siege to. Though, she thought, Artemis probably was able to find a way to make a successful assault. A lot of things that were 'impossible' were possible for Artemis Fowl. Even making an elf fall in love with him, which is by both human and elven standards impossible.

Ops Booth was the one thing that had remained the same over all these years. Mostly due to the centraur's paranoid self, he refused to let anyone touch besides himself touch his equipment. Today, however, he would let Artemis work with the computers in Foaly's kingdom. There was even a sign on the door that said 'Foaly's Kingdom'.

"Hey Fowl, I'm glad you could make it." Foaly said to Artemis as the door opened.

"Hello Holly," I said sarcastically. "Nice to see you too." Artemis chuckled at my remark.

"My, my, Holly dear, don't you require a lot of attention." Artemis smirked at me.

"Well, you guys go work on your scientific technological things. I will go to someone that appreciates my company more. Perhaps Chix or Trouble?" There was no sharpness in my tone, just amusement. Now it was my turn to smile as Artemis' smirk turned into a scowl. He knew that Trouble had a crush on me and Chix flirted with every girl that would so much as look at him. He's one of those predators, you know, the kind that people say 'never make eye contact'.

Just like last time I left him, I swayed my hips seductively and could feel Artemis' gaze on me as I walked. I could still hear Foaly say: "You guys are dangerously comfortably with each other right now." Artemis response was a short laugh.

Great. I just got myself excluded and just might have to spend some time with Chix and Trouble. Or I could just pass some time in the shooting range. Trying to beat Root's record. Root's record? Yes. He wasn't always a commander, you know. When I first joined the LEP he was a legend. He was the best shot in the force and criminals feared him. After he got his promotion it were both the criminals _and _the officers that feared him. One of his achievements was his shooting record. It completely blew away the current record at that time, almost tripling it. It still stands after fifty years. Followed by me, but I still needed to double my score to reach his.

So I started killing time by killing holograms. Foaly decided to be funny and added an additional hologram a few years ago, Opal Koboi. Strangly, it gave satisfaction whenever I shot her. My score was getting higher and higher, I was now thirty minutes in the game and the enemies became faster and more agile with the second. It would continue until I got shot.

Soon enough my shooting attracted attention. It was always a good watch to see someone shoot in the shooting range. From the corner of my eye I noticed Trouble and Grubs watching me and Chix and Lili were just entering the room. I wonder how long I was shooting, my score was seven thousand now, almost as high as my previous score.

During a short breathing pause I saw Artemis enter the room. Please, don't distract me Artemis. Luckily, he didn't. Instead he went to watch me just like everyone, when he saw me looking he stuck his thumps up and then gestured towards the game. Oh, yes. Continue.

I continued moving around in the shooting range. It was a large room, the size of a baseball field, with many obstacles one could use for cover. The trick was to keep moving as the enemy came from different sides. Never from the path you came from though. You literally have to dodge bullets.

Here I was, pinned down behind a low concrete wall. One hostile lay cover fire as three other enemies came running from cover. I jumped away from my cover, out of the spray of lasers and shot at the two incoming enemies. I missed twice but then the holograms disappeared. I ducked behind cover to shoot at the remaining two, but then I got hit in the back. "D'Arvit!"

The one that was giving cover fire had moved from his spot to flank me as I took out his friends, if holograms even see then as friends. Ironically, the one that shot me was an 'Opal'. My score was 11600, not good enough to beat Root's score, which was 15200, but it topped my previous score. Somehow I am glad that I didn't top Root, the longer his score stays on top the longer he will remain a legend here.

When I left the shooting range cheers erupted from the crowd. "Good job, Holly." Trouble said. "Seriously, that was _hot_!" That's gotta be Chix.

"Great shooting, Holly. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two." Me _teaching _Artemis? I never thought the day would come. I could see that Artemis wanted to hug me to congratulate me. "But getting shot by _Opal." _He smirked.

"Oh, shut up!" I smacked him playfully in the arm and he mocked hurt.

Then I felt an arm around my shoulder and Artemis' face tensed. Trouble had casually slung that arm around me. "You set a great example for the rest of the men here. This will motivate them, because how sexist it may seem, men don't want to get beat by a girl in what they call 'their terrain'." I squeezed my shoulder gently and again I glanced at Artemis, his mouth was pressed in a tight line. He didn't like this. That is when I smirked.

"Thanks Trouble. You flatter me too much." I even _tried _to blush lightly and batter my eye lashes. I could see Artemis boiling now. Too easy. Then I kissed him on the cheek. She shoots, she scores! When I smirked back at Artemis he almost seemed angry with me and he stormed out of the room. Maybe I took it a little too far? "Sorry Trouble, I'll be right back." Trouble didn't say anything, but just stood there stunned, his fingers on the spot I kissed him.

I found Artemis down the hallway. "Artemis?" I said, he looked up slightly troubled. "I'm sorry, I was just kidding." I apologized.

"That is my worst fear, you know." Artemis said sadly. "I know we're different species which means that really being together will be very difficult. I couldn't live here, the council would never allow it. And you can't live above the ground, you could never really be with me there, you wouldn't be accepted into society." He was pouring his heart out. "You will also outlive me by a few hundred years. I would grow old and, eventually, die."

"W-what does this have to do with Trouble?" my voice cracked on the truth he just voiced.

"He would be better for you. A well respected member of society, the Commander of the Haven LEP, not someone with a criminal past and moral problems. But above all, he is an elf. He would be the more logical, right choice to be with."

"Oh, Artemis." I kissed him softly. "Since when do we care about the 'right' choice. Besides, I don't love him."

"Wait? You actually bought that all that?" He smirked. "I just made that up to conceal my jealousy." We both knew that it was a lie and chuckled softly.

"This doesn't mean I have forgiven you," I told Artemis. I wasn't going to flirt with Trouble or Chix, but there were many other ways to make him wish he was never born. Maybe I won't be _that _harsh, but I knew some psychological warfare methods that he wouldn't like.

Then I knew the perfect way to make him pay. It was perfect. And easy to accomplish.

"Shall we ask Trouble if I could get a short holiday above ground?" I suggested, part one of the plan was rolling if he said yes. The happiness radiated in Artemis' eyes as he nodded yes.

"Okay, let's go."

**ArtemisPOV**

Trouble was in his room having a busy conversation with the council about some sort of pressing matter. _Officially, _I didn't know what it was about. Unofficially, I knew that it was about a troll that had rampaged in America. Forks, Washington to be precise. It had killed unsuspecting hikers but the LEP were able to conceal the murders as animal attacks. Still, it had become quite an incident.

Holly and I were waiting in the waiting room, a small room adjacent to his room. The room was comforting, soft green walls radiated the calm the room was resembling, the chairs were comfortable, albeit small. Replica's of famous paintings hung on the walls, a Van Gogh and a Rembrandt.

"This is the first time we are alone, ever since coming to Haven." Holly said. Suddenly I had a vision of Holly and I making out in this particular room, under the nose of Trouble, so to speak. "For fifteen minutes at least, these calls take that long."

"What do you suggest we do in the meantime?" Holly looked at me and I realized my vision. Pressing my lips tightly to hers and pinning her small body against the wall. Her small body was crushed in the air between my body and the wall. She attacked my lips hungrily as our tongues battled for dominance. Holly started pulling at my hair. _She likes it rough! _Definitely a cop.

She hit my back with her small fists. My hands roamed her body, touching her at places I never touched her before. She moaned in my mouth as my fingers traced her breasts.

"HOLY FROND! SHOW YOU MOUTH WHERE I CAN SEE IT, FOWL!!" Oh, god. "Your hands too!" Yep, we were good at getting into Trouble. Literally. He was standing there in the doorway, a face as red that Root would be proud and a Neutrino aimed at us, well just me. Saying he was angry was an understatement. I feared that if I would say something he would explode. So I kept my mouth shut, exploding elves gives a mess and it difficult to clean up.

Why would he be so angry? We were just making out..

Oh. No.

We weren't just making out. In his eyes he must have seen the following. A male human, twice the size of the elf, pinning the powerless elf against the wall. He sexually attacked her, while she pounced with all her might on the mans back, trying to push him off. She pulled his hair fiercely but still he wouldn't budge. Then he started to roam her body with his hands. In the end you recognize the female elf as the one you had a crush on for years.

Quite a terrible scenery if I dare say.

I looked at Holly for help, but she had walked over to Troubles side, her light still shaking. One could interpret that as fear or the fact she was out of breath and unable to proceed simple orders from the brain towards the legs, like movement orders. After a moment she had caught her breath and for a short second she smirked at me. Then she continue to look shaken and afraid.

But the smirk told me everything. Revenge, it said. Revenge in the same way as you tortured me. Instead of my mother walking in on me, it was now Trouble. Somehow I knew that this would have more severe consequences than my prank. I had no time to think about that, as I stood before a trigger happy Commander that saw the love of his life being sexually harassed.

Trouble looked at Holly, who was still shaking and had a fearful look in her face. She definitely wasn't helping. "Look – Trouble – this is not what it seems..." Cliché line, almost makes me look gay, saying this to Trouble as he saw me making out with someone else.

"Please tell me, _how _can this be 'not as what it seems'?" His finger twitched and I prepared myself to dodge at any minute. That was the one question that I didn't know an answer to. "I see you forcing yourself on one of my officers and she was trying to defend yourself, but against your _Mud Man," _he spat the words, "weight she couldn't do much. Or, _Fowl, _is there another explanation?" Besides Holly and I having a hot, rough make-out session in the waiting room while we were waiting for you to finish your phone call, but you finished up earlier and busted in on us while she pretended that I attacked you get revenge on me? No, sorry.

Instead I gulped loudly. Goodbye, beautiful world.

"But above all, you stole her innocence! _My _innocent Holly." Trouble stated obsessively. As he put an arm around Holly and pulled her close to him. I couldn't help but think that was a very stupid move, even if she really was attacked by me. Normally a person would be too scared and the last thing you should do is touch them right after it happened.

Real horror was now to be seen on Holly's face. Even though I didn't like him touching her, I thought it was funny that this moment was turning out to be really embarrassing for Holly, too.

**Holly POV**

_My innocent _Holly?! I heard Trouble say. What did he mean with innocent? That was not what he was supposed to say. He was supposed to be angry at Artemis, threaten him, scream at him, maybe shoot him with the Neutrino on its lowest power, but not say that I was _his _innocent Holly. I felt his arm pulling me close to him and I suddenly became really scared for what was to follow. Artemis would be boiling with anger. I looked at him but he wasn't very angry. Yes, his mouth was pressed in a tight line, but his eyes showed amusement.

"You stole her first kiss! Her _innocence_!" Creepy, how would he know that it was my first kiss? Artemis was curious too, but even more pleased to know that he was the first one to kiss me. "How do I know? Simply, at her exam to enter LEPrecon she had to answer questions while hooked on a lie detector. To see if she was trustworthy and a good example for other females. She was asked questions if she had kissed. As a commander I abu- I mean have to know this kind of information about my subordinates." Even more creepy, what else had I said during that interview? Everything about my love life, my tastes in men, what I liked to do, how I bathed, what cosmetics I used.

I knew he had a crush on me, but even that had it's limits. "Then, of course, I knew that she didn't date anyone while on the force. The first few years she was hard working trying to build a reputation for herself. Then the workload increased and after work she went straight home, watched a couple hours of television and slept till the next morning." Stalker-creepy. It even showed on Artemis' face that he thought that Trouble was creeping him out. Trouble squeezed me gently in my side, pushing me even closer to him. "So this was her first kiss, you stole her innocence."

In Artemis' eyes showed both disgust and amusement. Ugh. 'Help' I mouthed. He just smirked. Trouble saw this too. "Oh, you think it's funny. That you stole her innocence in that way. Huh, _punk._" He increased the setting on his Neutrino, to lethal. Artemis quickly wiped the smirk of his face. "That would be the only innocence you'll ever steal from here. _My pure Holly, _you're still pure in one way." He touched my face soothingly, or at least, that much be what he thought what he was doing. I cringed away at his touch. "I will be the one that will protect your innocent body until you're ready to give it away to me."

This was too much. I would _never. _Artemis' face read torture, murder and death. No longer fear.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, _Commander. _But what you just saw was not her first kiss. Not even close to." This snapped Commander Kelp out of his reverie.

"_What?!" _He screeched.

"You may be able to stalk her here, but not in back in time." Thank you, Artemis. You just worsened your situation. "Or when she spends her birthday with me. Or meets when she meets me above ground to catch u upon these three years. Or just before you entered this room."

In short mechanical movements Troubles head moved back to look at me. "_What?" _His voice was low and soft.

"Well... um... you see..." I blushed and stammered. I took one big breath and started: "I-was-just-happy-he-was-alive-so-kissed-him-after-healing-and-at-my-birthday-we-confessed-love-and-we-kissed-again-and-we-did_-catch-up-_last-week."

"Psst. Holly. You forget what happened just now." _Thanks Arty. _

"But what happened just now all happened because I told him I didn't love him anymore."

"Oh, really?!" Troubles lips quirked upwards in a maniacal smile, he aimed the gun in his hand towards the _lower _regions of Artemis body. "You won't mind, then..." His finger twitched on the trigger.

"_NO!" _I screamed. "We were really just making out but I needed to get revenge on Artemis for a prank he pulled." I told the truth. "But I never knew it would turn out this way..." I muttered softly.

"So you two really love each other?" He asked, defeated.

"Yes."

"Oh. I see." He slumped backwards into his room. The door closed slowly behind him. Artemis and I were watching him, trying to process what really had happened the past few minutes.

Artemis was the first one to break the silence. "I suppose we're even now?" He stated it as a question. I just nodded in reply unable to find any words.

When the door was almost completely closed we heard a smacking sound that could be identified as a 'high five' that was shortly followed by a horse whinny.

**A/N: **

As the Dutch saying goes: "Who a hole digs for another, gets himself trapped" (Rough translation)

Holly apparently isn't as good at planning as Fowl is. Then again, who could've anticipated CREEPY STALKER TROUBLE.

How did you guys like the title of the story? Getting into Trouble ^^

This was the longest chapter I have ever written in my life. More than eight pages and the chapter only is about five thousand words!

It was a very fun chapter to write.

And Marie Holly Fowl, I was unable to write this one at school, for obvious reasons.

Review please!

Now you're probably thinking, why is the scrolling bar not at the end? That is because below this authors note I have written a small part of another idea for an Artemis Fowl fanfic. One _with _a plot.

I would like to know your opinion. The plot still needs a lot of work on that one, but as funny/cute this one might be, the other would be A/H (ofc) but with a lot of action, adventure and suspense.

Enjoy. It is only a short preview, maybe none of this would fit into the actual story but it would set the setting for the other story. The title for the story is above the short preview,

**

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**On the brink of History**

_**Preview**_

**Fowl Manor, 0300 AM**

Three o'clock was a regular time for Artemis Fowl. When he was busy with his scientific pursuits sleep would need to find another time to pester the young genius.

I Fowl had chosen another day to work late the world of today would've looked completely different. Barren nuclear wastelands and craters would scorch the landscape and the Earth would have been cracked open in cracks that reached miles down till below the earth's surface. All live on the planet would have to struggle to survive.

Luckily has was awake, then. Even though many things wouldn't have been prevented by his awakened presence in his study the human race was saved from extinction. All these events were still unknown to the boy that was currently working on a way to increase the efficiency of different energy sources.

The computer warned him and took his attention away from many difficult formulas that he was calculating.

"Three helicopters approaching from the northeast. Registration: British SAS. Type: Attack Helicopter with four passengers each. Destination unknown. Incoming and outgoing transmissions detected at the helicopters." A computerized voice said. Three small figures of a helicopter showed on a green map of the surrounding. This radar system was one of the defense mechanisms of Fowl Manor. Still back from the time the boy had kidnapped Holly.

'The British Special Air Service', the genius thought. 'What were they doing here?' Those were British Veteran troops, that operated all across the World. They were the best of the best Brittan had to offer. "Eavesdrop on conversation."

"Link established." The computer responded.

Soon enough the conversation came out of the speakers. "... that is why this mission is vital to our success." The incoming transmission said. My computer was tracing it back towards an English base. Probably Intel. "This mission will start a war. They will not be able to forgive us for this and we need to have the upper hand. Which we have now by this surprise attack."

The helicopters passed overhead now, no sound was heard but the radar showed that the copters were continuing their way.

"This operation is a joint operation with the U.S. Special Forces and the Russian Specnaz. We will start a worldwide war against our enemies tonight."

The signal was losing strength as the helicopters covered more distance. "... phase one... sharp... ETA in 10..." Artemis could only make so much of this conversation.

"Then... we... surrender... captive... -TA 8... -_uttleport Tara."_

That was when Artemis decided to pick up his phone immediately and contact particular sources that he had in the _underground _circuits.

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What do you think? Worth continuing? Which one would you rather see continued?

The plot for 'On the brink of History' needs to be worked out, and meantime I will continue with 'Surprise'. And if you like the idea of a plot more than a funny story about random funny situations, then tell me!

5,999 words, woohoo. Inclusif A/N and preview :) 10 pages in total


	4. Epic

**A/N**

Sorry for the long wait between chapter. I just don't write that fast, especially in English. Add that I was away for about half of last week (didn't get the chance to reply to reviews either, but will do this time). Well, those were my excuses. I did write a long chapter to make up for it!

I really appreciate all the reviews! It makes me want to write more, so another long chapter for you. Maybe not as funny as the previous ones, I dont really know.

Enjoy.

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**Epic**

**ArtemisPOV – Fowl Manor**

The light tapping sound of my fingers on the keyboard echoed through my otherwise silent room. My fingers found the words that weren't registered by my mind. Incoherent sentences formed on the large plasma screen, which illuminated the room. Outside it was dark and, secluded as the Fowl Manor was, the only light was coming from the starts and the full moon. His fingers kept tapping the keys aimlessly. My thoughts were still not at what I was writing, they strayed around uncertainties that haunted me.

Uncertainties that mainly included my family and my love, Holly. A week ago my father brought a unfamiliar topic up during dinner.

"_Artemis, you're almost twenty one. Isn't it time to settle down and find a good girl?" Artemis Fowl Senior started a new subject. He could've been more subtle as the sudden change to this topic surprised the others at the large dining table. My mother dropped the fork she was holding. Juliet started laughing and Butler coughed. Myself, I just happened to sip at my glass of wine and spilled the contents over the table. _

_My twin brothers just looked at us questionably. "Why does he need a 'good girl'?" Myles asked, he and his brother were both almost five years old now and were becoming even more of a handful to manage. _

"_This is grown-up people talk." My mother said to them. My brothers, smart as they were, knew when to stop asking questions and started a conversation on their own about the strongest superheroes, not a topic I expected ever to hear at the dinner table. Then again, they grew up completely different than I did. _

"_Artemis, why the surprised reaction? You're grown up now, though I thought you were grown up when you were twelve, and I don't want you to end up alone. You must've gone through puberty or doesn't it affect genii?" My father laughed, he knew I was a genii and we joked about it a lot. I let him know that I had gone through puberty. "Then you must have seen a few girls, right?"_

_I didn't answer him immediately. I knew my father only had the best interests with me, but at this time I wished he hadn't. When he didn't receive an answer he continued sceptically. "You _are _interested in girls, aren't you?"_

"_Um... yes, I am..." I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. The still present laughter of Juliet became louder and she tried to stifle it. She mumbled an apology and continued her dinner while staying focused on the conversation. _

"_Butler, could you escort Myles and Beckett to their room?" My father asked, Butler complied. Artemis Senior waited until he had returned before continuing the conversation. Juliet had apparently sensed what was about to come and started giggling softly. "Well... There are certain things you should know when it comes to women." _

_That single phrase did it for Juliet and she started laughing hysterically. My father was giving me _The Talk _at the age of twenty. My official age was still eighteen, but that wasn't the point. Butler kicked Juliet out of the room and she fell in a heap on the ground, still shaking from uncontrollable laughs. Then Butler closed the door, shutting out the sounds. _

"_Timmy? Do you really think it is necessary?" My mother asked._

"_I believe it is." My father defended his cause. "I heard this is part of what a father _has_ to tell his son. Besides, we have to have this _Talk _with Myles and Beckett too. This makes a good practice." _

"_Children are born when a man and a woman have... um... sexual intercourse." My father started, embarrassing me more with each word said. "To prevent that we men can use a rubber to make sure our... _seed..._ doesn't reach the... _ground... _so there won't be a _… flower... _growing." _

_Riiiiiiiiight. I definitely needed the analogy with flowers that wasn't even correct. I wasn't going to correct him. I all but hit my face on the table. Knowing that there was much more to come. _

The rest of the dinner was only more awkward as it already had become. The conclusion was that I should make sure that I used _protection. _However, that wasn't the reason my father started that horrid conversation, he really was worried about my social life. He knew that I went to social events to talk with other people, both of my age and my profession. But he never saw me coming home with friends, let alone a girl.

These were the times I wished that I could tell my father about Holly. Butler and my mother knew, Juliet had her memories returned shortly after she ran into me and Holly when she came to meet my mother ten days ago. Again, they were my family, people who I could trust with my life and (some) of my greatest secrets. Including the existence of fairies.

Logically, I reasoned that my father should have the right to know the existence of my girlfriend and thereby the fairy race. I wondered if Holly would agree with this, but I highly doubted it. The more people knew the easier it was that the story came out. Not that I didn't trust my family, but the fairy council definitely wouldn't agree with me. What they don't know, doesn't hurt, right?

The ultimate goal from that conversation at the table was marriage. Of course, my father had used different words, 'find a good woman and a settle down' but that practically meant the same. I doubted that my father would leave it alone if I didn't make any progress myself.

He even said to 'take matters in his own hands', meaning that he would find someone for me. Mentioning a certain blond haired women that had grown up quite beautiful. When my father said that she was very smart I knew who it was. Minerva. Apparently she had dropped that I was quite handsome during a conversation with my father. After dad mentioned it during dinner, I knew who he was going to set me up with if I didn't find someone. I used to have a crush on Minerva, albeit short lived, but now I hardly have any feelings towards her. I hoped that she felt the same towards me, but judging from her conversation with my father I doubted it.

Figures, how often is someone thinking about hoping that someone _doesn't _like him. The conversation was a mere week ago but I knew that my father was not a patient man. He wanted to see me dating soon, I had told him that 'good women' are hard to find, but he had none of it. I had anticipated that I would have an unpleasant visit by a blond haired genius sometime soon.

I checked the time, ten forty five, and decided to just call Holly. We called each other every night, just talking about things that happened. But for some reason I hadn't talked about this yet, I wanted to do that in person and that is why I called her right now, to invite her over.

After three short rings familiar eyes appeared on screen and locked on mine. Glisters of happiness and love showed in her eyes each time I called. "Hey, Arty." She smiled.

"Hello, Holls, love." I knew she liked her nickname and being called 'love'. Her smile always grew. We hadn't seen each other in person after the terrifying event with Trouble. I had left shortly after, much to both our dismay, but we couldn't afford Trouble, or anyone else, spotting us together again. Holly had thought she had heard a whinny and a high five, but I didn't hear that. Nothing else had happened after that, besides Trouble being unhappy at the moment, so I thought she must've misheard it. "How's working with Trouble?"

"It's still a bit awkward. He's not angry with me or anything. Just indifferent. Still, my paperwork keeps increasing day by day, while I am sure that the crime rates are still dropping..." Holly sighed, she looked tired.

"Do you want to come above ground for a day or two? You know, a short vacation? To get some sleep and rest."

"Subtle way of saying that I look worn out, nice one Arty." Ouch. Busted. Luckily my girlfriend knew how I was, still learning about this love thing. She often told me that I had the physical side of love under control, she told me that my kisses always took her breath away. But I could be more subtle with some comments. "Well, where do you suggest I spend my holiday?"

"At my house?"

"I doubt I'll be getting much sleep then..." She ended with a wink. I knew what she insinuated, we still hadn't made that step yet in our relationship, nor were we planning to do anytime soon. We hadn't even gone out on a real date yet. "But I think I deserve a holiday. Tomorrow sounds good?"

"Sounds good." I smiled. "I'll take you on a proper date then." I could see her nod and then she tried to stifle a yawn, but failed miserably. "I'm sorry I'm boring you right now." I teased.

"You're never boring..." She started but quickly reviewed her words. "Well, except when Foaly and you are in the same room talking about scientific... things." She chuckled. "You are right, I am tired."

"Goodnight, love."

"Sweet dreams, Arty, I love you." Her face disappeared as we broke the connection. Now the drabble of words was displayed on screen for me to read. I laughed at what I had written.

_Holly annoying father holly stupid Juliet holly love uncomfortable topic holly the talk holly holly... _that was just the first line.

I smirked and went to bed. 'Sweet dreams, Arty, I love you' those words still echoed in my head as I drifted away into dreamland, which was an incredibly sweet place right now.

**HollyPOV**

Ugh. If I knew that my plan to scare Artemis would have this huge consequences I would never have done it. Trouble has been a pain in the ass for the past week, we weren't speaking much but somehow _all _paperwork ended up at my desk. He was saying that someone at the LEPretrieval unit took a holiday and I had to do his work. I even believed that Trouble persuaded the guy to take a holiday, saying that I could take over his work for a few days.

"D'Arvit." I cursed at the ever growing pile of papers. I really needed the vacation Artemis had offered me. Besides the fact that I needed it, I needed _him _too. We've been apart for way too long, eleven days now, but this afternoon I was going to see him. Whether Trouble liked it or not.

And he didn't like it. When I told him I was taking a few days off until Sunday he nearly exploded. Saying that the workload was too much, that crime never stops, villains do not take holidays etcetera. In a reply I made it clear that he had no say in when I take a holiday, unless there was some major problem, like a revolution, I would be back on Monday.

That being said, he let me go after adding another stack of files to my paperwork, which I am staring at now. I sighed and got to work, I needed to finish this before I was able to go.

The hours slowly passed and eventually the files had disappeared from my desk. Stretching my arms and legs I got up from my chair, not completely oblivious to the attention I had gotten while stretching. Chix came towards me, "Hey, want to go out with me for dinner?" He was always trying. For some unknown reason Trouble had not told anyone of my relationship with Artemis yet. I didn't expect that, I expected that it would be all over the news the day after, but everything is alright. We're still under the radar.

"No," I told him shortly. Chix just doesn't learn. At first I let him down easily because I thought it was kind of cute. Now it was downright annoying and I didn't feel that bad after letting him down.

I hummed happily on my way home, acquiring weird looks from others. My bags were already packed and I only had to pick them up on my way home. Foaly had given me a set of wings and my LEP badge gave me immediate passage above ground.

When reaching the surface I headed towards Fowl Manor. Flying always was my favorite past time, now it was replaced by something else... but I still enjoyed it very much. The wind blew through my hair as I hadn't bothered taking a helmet with me. A flock of birds flew above me and I decided to join them. Unlike with humans they didn't scare away from elves. The smell of fresh air did me good, it wasn't as clean as in Haven but was rich with other smells. Different trees, water, minerals. I could really smell nature. This was why I loved Ireland so much, it was not polluted yet. At least, when you were away from Dublin and other big cities.

Vast green fields with here and there a farm stretched out beneath me. On the horizon were the peaks of mountains present. Not as high as the Alps but it was still a sight to behold. The sun was high above the mountains, giving the scene a Hollywood glow. Like those romantic movies always had.

The green fields below me had vanished and made place for sparkling blue water. I couldn't resist the temptation to try out Foaly's newest feature to the wings. Water-proof. It had been tested and it worked so I wouldn't end up on the bottom of the lake, but I wanted to try for myself. Fowl Manor was on the opposite side of the lake and I knew Artemis was here today with his brothers. His father and mother were on a yacht sailing on the lake but his brothers wanted to go to the beach.

Giving in to temptation I let myself fall towards the lake, diving in the deep water. Fish quickly moved away at the unknown intruder, but they noticed I wasn't an enemy and came back, circling around me. They followed me as I swam under water, exploring the depths of the lake. The wings worked perfectly under water, boosting me forward that even the fish had trouble following me.

The lake became more shallow and I knew I almost reached the shore. When I came back up I saw the five of them on the beach. Butler was being his muscular self trying to scare away the sand, there was no one else around. Juliet was sun bathing with her iPod providing music for her. Myles and Beckett were building a sand fortress each, not a regular one but one which they could actually sit in. Artemis watched both of them with a content smile on his face, sometimes nodding in approval as he saw that they had managed to construct a strong wall or a solid roof just with sand and wood.

If you had told me five years ago that this person was the same who kidnapped me for ransom I would've laughed and sent them to the loony bin. He really had changed and for the better. Using his genius for other purposes than money, crime and world domination.

Dripping wet I came out of the water making my way to Artemis and his family, I made sure I was shielded of course, but my boyfriend still looked right at me. Of course he was one to notice the ripples in the water. He stood up and that gave me a good look at his body... he was only wearing swimming shorts.

Okay, considering that we were at a beach it wasn't completely illogical, but still. I wasn't prepared. His slightly colored skin and the newly formed muscle tissue that completed his slim profile was too much for my young elven heart to handle. I dropped my shield and my mouth also dropped open. Of course, a smug smile appeared on his face. "Do you like what you see?" No denial there. Just a kiss on the lips as a reply instead. He lifted me up during the kiss, with ease I must say. The training sessions with Butler were definitely paying of and they were doing more for me than for him.

"I missed you, work has been hell." I murmured against his lips. He put me down again and noticed my wet hair. "Yeah, I couldn't not jump in."

"It's good to see you again, Holls." Ah, my nickname. I may call him Arty and he is the only one that may call me Holls, believe me, Chix called me Holls once and never again. It didn't do him any good that he had said '_my Holls'... _I was not a violent person but sometimes.

"What are you doing at a beach of all places?" I teased, knowing that he used to be an indoor-only person.

"Family time." He sighed, but not annoyed. More a content one. "I am glad they are busy building sand castles now. No longer arguing about which superhero is stronger." He nodded in the direction of his twin brothers. They were still building, but no longer each an own but together a bigger fortress. I was wondering how they managed to create a second story to the castle.

"That would be the one conversation that you wouldn't be able to be the smartest. I doubt you could even bring in a few smart comments."

"Hey! I happen to know that Superman may be strong but has two weaknesses, kryptonite and Louis. While batman isn't really a superhero and Spider man isn't as strong as superman but has only one weakness, Mary Jane."

"I bet you learned that from your brothers." I laughed as he looked away, silently confirming my statement. "Most of the weaknesses are women... not really a good image for feminism."

"I may not be a superhero, but if someone kidnapped you I would do anything to get you back." Artemis explained, not even trying to be romantic but I still swooned. He just earned himself another kiss.

Then I started getting out of my LEP uniform and he just stood there staring at me. "W-what are you doing?"

"We are at the beach, I should wear my beachwear." I smirked and removed my pants, I was already wearing by bikini underneath my uniform.

**Artemis POV**

It boosted my confidence when Holly was unable to stay shielded when she saw me. But now it was my time to drool over her as she removed her uniform. I had never seen much of her skin uncovered, only arms legs and occasionally a bit of her belly, but now she was undressing in front of me and I hadn't expected it.

She was beautiful. Her chestnut colored skin was a symbol of beauty in the West but even models didn't come close to her natural beauty (I knew she didn't use make up). Her two piece bathing suit was white with dark blue around the edges and complemented her skin very well. She blushed when she saw me gawking at her and smiled shyly. She was just as new to this as I was. "You're beautiful." And I kissed her softly.

The rest of the day was spend with Holly using my chest as a bed with my arms around her, firmly holding her to me. We were enjoying the sun and each other. Her small, almost fragile body fit perfectly in mine.

What seemed only minutes apparently were hours as my fathers boat was closing in. Holly shielded and moved away, picking up her suit that had dried in the sun, which was setting slowly behind the mountains.

My father and mother had enjoyed their trip and came to greet us with bright smiles plastered on their faces. Myles and Beckett removed themselves from their castle and went to hug their parents. My father picked them up compassionately, I felt a pang of jealousy and sadness. I couldn't remember a moment he had hugged me like that. I quickly overcame the sadness and jealousy, everything was different now.

"How was your day, sweeties?" My mother asked.

"We built ourselves a castle." Beckett said proudly.

"Artemis simple-toon didn't help us. We did it by ourself." Myles said.

And that was when Beckett had to say, "Artemis was too busy with that girl." While Myles knew what to tell my parents and what _not _to tell them, Beckett still needed to learn. However, now the story was out in the open Myles didn't found the need to shut up anymore.

"Was she a _good _girl?" Myles inquired, he was referring to the conversation with my parents a week ago.

My mother looked at me knowing who it was, but my father looked at me pleasantly surprised. "Well, where is this girl your brothers speak of?"

"What girl?" I said indifferently. "I believe they must be mistaken. I was just enjoying the sun this afternoon." I knew I was a convincing liar, however, that didn't make me feel any better about lying to my father.

"I swear we saw her, right Myles?" Beckett pressed, Myles didn't respond, knowing that I was to get in trouble if he did. "She was about this tall." He reached out to point slightly above his head. "Had auburn colored hair and pointy ears." Myles nodded in agreement, his loyalties shifting rapidly between his older brother and his twin. "She vanished into thin air when you came. I wonder how she did that."

I looked apologetically at my father. "They must've imagined it. You know the movies they watch." They had seen Harry recently amazed by the creatures displayed in the scenes. My mother nodded too.

"Well, I was hoping that you had found yourself a girl. I really don't want to help you looking. You did have a good time today, didn't you?" I nodded and smiled, genuinely.

We made our way towards the cars. Everyone except for me took the limousine while I took my sports car. If they had looked towards me when entering the vehicle they could've seen me opening the door for an invisible person.

"Your brothers were really helpful." Holly noted when we were both safe in the car.

"They don't know any better." I defended them even though I did agree with her, Fowls always defended each other. "Though I really wanted to talk to you about what father said."

"Later. When we get home."

We didn't get a later when we got home. After family dinner both Holly and I were so tired we immediately made our way towards bed. I smuggled dinner for her with me, knowing that she must be hungry. I made sure I didn't bring any meat, just some vegetables and potatoes. She thanked me silently by eating everything.

"Holly?" I asked her as she laid down next to me, under the sheets her body pressed to mine.

"Hmm?"

"You do know that this is officially the first time we are sleeping together." I said with a smirk.

"Well, we'd better enjoy it then." She turned around to face me and laid her self on my chest. Stomach down. I could feel _all _of her body on me. She kissed me softly, "Good night, Arty."

I embraced her and she snuggled closer to me, putting her face in the crook of my neck. The last thing I felt was her hot breath on my skin.

**HollyPOV**

Next morning I awoke in the arms of Artemis, still in the same position laying face down on top of him. As I woke him by softly kissing him he smiled ruefully. "Now that is how I want to wake up."

"Cheesy, cliché line." I smirked.

"It may be cliché, but that doesn't make it less true." He kissed my morning laziness away. I normally never was a morning person, but kissing Artemis in the morning made me like them a lot more. His hands traveled upwards on my stomach, slowly teasing me. He almost reached the point where I wanted to have them but then someone burst through the door.

"Wakey-wakey, Artemis. It is a ..." Yes, it so had to be Juliet that ran in on Artemis and I. His hands were over my body and my lips were locked with his. She had seen me when I visited them a long time ago, that event triggered her memories, but she hadn't seen us doing anything. Meaning: she found out just now. "Oh em gee! This is so great!" She bounced happily in the room, hugging both Artemis and me. "I totally get to plan your wedding and shop for baby clothes!"

Cue the blush on our faces.

"Juliet, we plan to stay under the radar for as long as possible, we don't even know if we'll tell father." Artemis pleaded her to keep silent about this.

"Oh, speaking about your father, he wants you to come down. Something about guests arriving today. I do not know who, though." Artemis nodded. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do. But more important: use _protection." _Why did everyone think we were screwing each other? "Or did your father give you _The Talk _on time?"

Judging his stuttering she smiled knowingly. I didn't even try to defend ourself, knowing that I wouldn't be able to form a coherent sentence about this subject while laying in Artemis bed, half naked, with his arms _still _on my body. Not that I minded.

Despite everything I couldn't help to think that something bad was going to happen today. Artemis was dressed and I followed him downstairs, shielded of course. Just before entering the dining room Artemis stopped to talk to me. "I do wish to tell my father about us sometime soon. So you can be yourself in here, not in danger of him walking in on us."

"Artemis, I... I don't know." I did want his father to know, but then again, as a LEP officer it was my duty to protect the fairies. And even more humans knowing of our existence wasn't exactly helping my cause. All humans that know of the People knew because of me. Besides, the council would never agree with more humans knowing, if I told them almost the whole Fowl family knows they would surely get a mind wipe and I would lose my job for endangering the People. "I need to think about it."

"That is all I ask." He was thoughtful, _almost _the perfect boyfriend. Only too intelligent, though that wasn't really a problem. He was cocky too, sometimes. Above all, different species. But it seems that elves and human are more compatible than elves and dwarfs. Even though they knew of their existence, I never heard of a dwarf pairing with an elf. Or a centaur. I laughed. Imagine Mulch dating a centaur. I bet even the centaur would rather date a human than a dwarf.

Maybe we really could get children... I blushed at the thought, knowing that elven children are conceived the same way as human kids. Well, everyone else thought we were already jumping each other, why not do it? I definitely was ready. I am eighty seven years old! Humans would laugh at me still being a virgin at this age.

Artemis stepped inside the dining room and his father sat there at the table but he was not alone.

The last Mud person I wanted to see right now was sitting there at the table....

**ArtemisPOV**

Minerva.

Gulp.

"_Arty!_" I cringed inwardly as she shouted my nickname, only Holly and my mother were allowed to use it. The blonde ran towards me and hugged me, kissing both of my cheeks when she released me. "Long time no see!" She took a step back and I could observe her. She was, for lack of a better description, attractive. With her long runway model legs and slim figure, complemented by the right curves, and huge breasts, she could be called stunning. However, that was only to the objective viewer, someone who saw her for the first time.

"Ah, Minerva... yes it has been way too long." I said distantly. "How has life been treating you?"

"You know. Totally perfect of course, you know me." She smiled and batted her eyelashes. "I've been chosen as smartest women on Earth after I discovered the existence of the Paradixo." She won the Nobel Prize with that last year. Minerva had discovered what the quarks in the neutrons were made of. Her discovery, completely modest named after her, was now what we believed to be the smallest particles in the universe. The material everything was built from. Smaller than Atoms, neutrons and quarks. "I totally knew that I could do it before I even tried. Of course, it helped that they already built the LHC in Geneva, but even without I would've discovered it." Miss Paradizo was modest about her perfect life.

She started about her social life and her money that would soon rival the Fowl family's. I tuned her out, nodding when appropriate and glanced at my father. He was happy seeing me speak with this woman, I knew that his was his doing but I couldn't be angry with him, he just wanted to see _me _happy.

Minerva and I ended up on the couch in the living room. She sat as close to me as she could, pressing her body against mine. "... and that guy was all over me. Disgusting! I might have been drunk, but I was no easy lay!" I almost snorted, but disguised it as a cough. No easy lay. She had had more different men in her live than her age. I believed she was the smartest slut on the world. That was just what she did with men. I didn't care about that, she was one of my few friends and we needed to catch up a little. That's why I kept this conversation going. "Only special men are privileged to that." Her eyes penetrated mine as she said this and I felt uncomfortable. I shifted uneasily in my seat.

"So... um... what are you working on now?" At least I would be able to get a good conversation out of this. I received the opposite, instead of an intellectual conversation she mistook my 'um' as a good sign.

"You know, trying to settle down, find a good man. That I can _please _and can _please _me." She basically stuck her chest in my face. Her low v-neck didn't make this any easier, not that I looked it was just hard to avoid looking at when she stuck in your face. _She will be gone soon_. I chanted in my mind. "And with your father inviting me to stay here until Sunday did help _us _a little, don't you think?" Batting her eyelashes and smiling like she thought was seductive.

_What?! Until Sunday? _This is my time with Holly. I'm not going to let her ruin this.

I glanced around, looking for the shimmer that represented my elven girlfriend. Finally I found the shimmer in the corner of the room. I mouthed 'sorry'. The shimmer moved away and I thought I saw something glimmering when she left the room.

Minerva had places a hand on my leg now, closing in slowly towards my thigh. "Minerva, drop it." I said coldly.

"You know you want it just as much I want you."

"Not. Now." I hissed the words through my teeth. She loosened her grip and I left. Going up to my room.

"God, she's a she-devil." I pulled my hair out and sat on my bed. Only to notice that Holly was there, lying face down sobbing in the pillows of my bed.

"Holly?" I shook her gently. "What is wrong?" I asked, though I knew what was wrong, it didn't take a genius to see this. She thought I meant something else with the 'sorry'.

"W-why aren't you with her?" Holly cried, tears staining her beautiful face, she looked down at her hands, away from me.

"Holly look at me." I cupped her chin and looked her in the eyes. "I love _you. _Not someone else, not any other human. And definitely not _that she-devil!_" This brought a smile to her face and I kissed her softly on her soft lips. Our tongues were just fighting World War III when the door opened.

_Not again. _I thought.

"_Arty_, your father said this was your room..." Minerva's eyes spread open when she saw Holly. Well, not necessarily Holly, but a tiny girl that had a lip lock on 'her Love'.

Holly pulled away and smiled evilly. God, I loved her as she did that.

Something snapped in Minerva's brain. "What are _you _doing with _my Arty? _You sorry excuse for a _whoring elf_." She grabbed the first heavy thing she saw, my physics book of five kilograms, and made way to throw the book at the 'whoring elf'.

But by doing so she tripped over Professor Primate III, falling with her chest down towards the ground.

We did expect the 'oohmpf' as she hit the ground. What we didn't expect was the double 'BANG' that accompanied the 'oohmpf'.

When Minerva got up her chest had literally exploded. Or... imploded. That would be the best description for her current look. Her boobs just hung there like deflated rubber balls, half the size they were before.

I felt completely no remorse as I laughed hysterically. Never before I had laughed like this before. I should thank her sometime. Holly was dying because she couldn't breath from laughing. Everyone knows the term ROFLMAO, but I always thought it was something stupid the teenagers used. But now I was rolling on floor laughing my ass off as Minerva ran out of the room crying.

I waited for the remorse to kick in, but I couldn't feel guilty. She had no right to call Holly a whore.

"This... i-is... n-not..." My love said between hiccups and laughing fits. "... healthy."

After ten minutes we had finally controlled our laughing fit. "You know what else isn't healthy?" She looked at me and raised an eyebrow incredulously. "How much I love you."

"No more cheese." Holly laughed, but kissed me nonetheless.

After the making-out I realized something. "Suddenly I am relieved that I still have those camera's installed in the room at home." Holly smiled evilly at me, knowing that I had captured Minerva's epic failure for ever.

**All-knowing-annoying-almighty-funny writers POV**

What Artemis didn't know was that he had recorded _much _more than just that...

* * *

**A/N:**

Sorry about the first 80% of the chapter being the shameless fluff like it was. Then came Minerva (DIE! BITCH! DIE!).

Hope you liked it.

I have an idea for at least one more chapter. One that is not going to be a shameless fluff. But very funny (I hope)

Review and tell what you thought.

After next chapter I will probably regard this story as completed so I can focus on my other story: 'On the Brink of History'. I gave you a preview of it last week and the story will be mind blowing, world rocking and earth shaking.

Anyway, did I tell you to review yet?

Later,

Dutchman02 (No, my name isn't from Pirates of the Caribbean, but I am Dutch, form the Netherlands. Although on Youtube I am FlyingDutchman02 ;) )


	5. Damage Control

**A/N**

When I stated that this would be the last chapter I was met by many reviews begging me to continue. Don't stop so soon. So I added this chapter and I have plans for an epilogue after this. This chapter is not as long as the previous two, my inspiration was failing me but I wanted to update.

That is one of the other reasons I am finishing this story. Inspiration. I don't want to quit halfway through but really finish a multi chaptered story. Anyway, enjoy!

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**Damage control**

**Artemis POV**

_This was becoming an annoying habit. Though this time talking a way out of our position was quite complicated..._

_I started with: "Do you believe in fairytales?" _

_-------_000000_-------_

I wiped the tears away from Holly's tear stained face. _No, _I did not make her cry. The tears were present from laughing at Minerva.

"You said you recorded this, didn't you? What do you suggest we do with it?" She smiled evilly. I liked how her mind worked. Holly was always considerate of her friends, but didn't mind to humiliate her enemies. Genii thought alike, even though she theoretically wasn't a genius, she was just as cunning and witty. Maybe not in the fields they normally searched for genii, no she was a genius on the battlefield. Whether it was a war for freedom or a war for love, she wasn't to be taken lightly.

"What are you suggesting? That _we _used this material to purposefully humiliate her in public? Holly, I thought you were better than that." I smirked and she wore a confused look on her face. "No, _we _aren't going to do anything with the video."

"Wha-" Holly was going to protest. Yes, she wanted Minerva to go _down. _Like she deserved, of course, I couldn't disagree with her there.

"However, it could happen that a subtly edited version appears on Youtube." She got my trail. We could edit Holly out of the video, an elf appearing on Youtube could cause some commotion.

"It _will _reach the front page, featured video's and show up on everyone's recommend vid's." Holly stated it as a fact. She knew that I could make that happen with my hacking skills. Even though I left my criminal life behind me, I still liked cracking firewalls and databases.

"Of course it will. Everyone will want to see it." We both smiled evilly when we heard a car leaving the estate. Probably Minerva heading home. I still couldn't feel a little bit of remorse.

I decided to join Holly in bed. Pulling her up my chest. When she curled up in a ball her whole body would fit on my chest, her head just in the crook of my neck and her toes tracing my thigh. I held my breath as she continued to trace my thigh, I knew she didn't start to tease me. But when she noticed my reaction it could feel her giggle silently as she shook on my chest. Instead of stopping she continued with her feet higher and higher up my thigh, all the while I was holding my breath.

"Don't forget to breath, Arty." When I tried to breath she briefly brushed with her feet down there. I gasped involuntary. Holly giggled.

"Vixen." I told her. "You know the effect you have on me." She could see and _feel_ it. A dark red blush was apparent on her face. I flipped her off my chest and pressed her against my bed. I hovered above her, looking in her eyes. "Little tease are you?" Two could play that game. I put my lips on her jaw and started kissing upwards toward a small sensitive spot behind her ear. Her breath hitched as I sucked there softly after kissing it. I avoided her mouth as I kissed back towards her neck and her collarbone. My hands weren't sitting still either. Starting low on her stomach they traced upward slowly, stopping just as I reached her breasts. Tracing around them without really touching them, I myself wanted to so badly, but this game we were playing took priority. And I didn't know if Holly was ready.

Her breathing was ragged and short. Her cheeks were just as red as her hair. Holly moaned at my touch. "Artemis..." Then I pulled away, smirking.

After she got control of her breath back she hissed sharply. "Jerk." But she wasn't angry. I could see it in her eyes. Lust. Love. Desire.

That was when my lips hungrily devoured hers. My hands touching the places they had avoided until now. Hearing her whimper in my mouth turned me on even more. It was not long before the first pieces of clothing were discarded and soon more followed.

I couldn't help but remember the date 'Friday 13th' one I would not longer see as a day of superstition or bad luck, but as the day Holly and I fully became one...

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**Holly POV**

I woke up in Artemis' arms. Naked. With a huge smile plastered on my face.

It was the best night of my life, one I would treasure forever. In the beginning it was... complicated, both with it being our first times and the fact that it was _my _first time. But I didn't regret any second of it.

I just lay there looking at Artemis as he slowly woke up. I kissed him and then he woke up fully. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." He replied smiling brightly, who knew he could spread that grin that wide. Then suddenly his face went from happy to horrified. Fear and shame was clearly on his face.

"Artemis, what's wrong?" I feared for the answer.

"O my God. Holly, I'm sorry!"

"Wait! W-what are you apologizing for?"

"I- We didn't use protection." Protection? What was... ooh. I started laughing. Once I started I couldn't stop. He just looked at me funny and fear. He probably feared for my sanity. Which girl wanted to get knocked up at her first time? "Holly..?"

"A-artemis," I started. "Fairies don't need protection. We get pregnant when we want to." He sighed relieved.

"It's just that I have gotten the _Talk _a week ago and I didn't..." He lost me at 'Talk'. Again I was laughing uncontrollably. He was getting annoyed, I could see, but Artemis getting the _Talk _at the ago of twenty.

"I sooo have to ask Butler how it was..." I said, dragging out the word 'so'. "I suppose he was present in the room." Artemis' silence said enough.

I pushed myself up and Artemis got another good view at me. I blushed as he was looking me over and tried to cover up. A little too late, he saw _all _of me last night. I felt something else press against me shortly after. I blushed even more, now knowing he liked what he saw.

"Let's not get out of bed, shall we?" He smirked.

"Hmm." Was all that I could reply. Then a thought hit me. "You said that the camera's were also recording in our room?"

"Oh, shit." He actually cursed in front of me. "I'll delete them before anyone has the chance to see them."

"No, don't."

"Don't?"

"We might want to watch it back, a few times." I hinted while I could feel my cheeks heat at my own suggestion. He coughed loudly and then sat up.

"You have no idea what you do to me." Oh, I perfectly knew what I did, I could still feel it after all. He sat up and kissed me hard on the lips. The kiss said 'another round?' I answered by slipping my tongue past his lips.

Of course, nothing ever went the way we wanted it to go. The door to our room opened and who else would be in the door than...

"Dad!" Artemis reacted with speed had never seen him do before, not even when writing on his PC, his fingers moved at the speed of light when behind his keyboard. He threw the sheets over me to cover what needed to be covered. And then tried to hide me behind himself, in vain.

Then the room just quited down. Mr. Fowl was staring at Artemis and I, Artemis was staring at his dad and I and I was at both the Artemis'.

How do you start a conversation like this. _'Hello, Mr Fowl. I am Holly, the girl who has been shagging your son last night and was just about to go at it again. Oh, by the way, I am an elf.' _I doubt that would give a good first impression. Or how about_ 'I would come to shake your hand, but I lack clothing at the moment. All to courtesy of your son though.' _

Why did this _always _happen to us? How many times had someone walked in on us now? Four? Five? It seemed to get worse each time. Like someone up above didn't like us and wrote a plot around us that involved getting us in the most uncomfortable situations.

**Writer POV**

Damn. She's smart.

**Artemis POV**

I should've known. When didn't we get walked in on while doing something that was private? I hate my karma. It probably was mine, I was the only one that did some really bad things in the past, it is now coming to bite me in the ass.

I switched between looking at my father and my love rapidly. Not knowing what to say.

**Artemis Senior POV**

I just walked into my sons room. He was there lying naked in his bed with a child on top of him, also naked. She was obviously young, she had dressed like these mythical creatures, 'elves' I believe. With those ears and such. I knew my son was different. But that he was into dressed up childs...

"What is going on Timmy?" I heard my wife call. I was going to get Artemis downstairs for breakfast. Juliet was out and Butler was still asleep. Though now I wished that I never saw this. I knew my son had his share of criminal activities.

**Angeline POV**

"Oh." Was all I could say as I glanced around my husband into my son's room. There was Holly covered in nothing but a sheet wrapped tightly around her body with a blush on her cheeks. Beside her was my son. All naked but a pillow. I wasn't angry with my son, instead I was happy. He was finally a man and that with the girl of his dreams that had become a women too.

But the situation was bad. Really bad. Luckily we could still control the damage. At least... that was when I heard someone else walking upstairs.

"Hey! I just got back and was looking for you! What is everyone doing here around Artemis' room..."

**Artemis POV**

Oh. No.

My oblivious father catching us was one thing. My mother seeing was another. But nothing was worse than the storm that was approaching now.

**Juliet POV**

I just returned from grocery shopping accompanied with a few bags from shops that didn't sell any groceries, but who cared. Shopping was a drug and I was addicted. Simply as that. It was only an unhealthy drug when you were poor, but I got a nice little creditcard with unlimited cash from Artemis. Well, I didn't get it from him. But he never uses it anyway, why let it go to waste.

Angeline and Artemis Fowl Senior weren't in the dining room. I decided to go looking for them upstairs. Soon I found them, both standing outside Artemis' room.

"Hey! I just got back and was looking for you! What is everyone doing here around Artemis' room..." I got closer and looked inside.

"OMYGOD!!!" I screamed. Squealed. Chirped. And rushed past Mr and Ms Fowl inside the room. "Congratulations Artemis, Holly." They both looked at me perplexed. I turned to Holly. "No longer the ninety-year-old-virgin!" She blushed but Artemis glared at me.

"_Ninety-_year-old-virgin?!" Oops. I turned around to find a very confused Mr Fowl standing in the doorway.

**Artemis POV**

Thank you very much, Juliet. I think you just killed my father.

My father was standing in the doorway. Breathing slowly in and out. "Um. Dad?" This snapped him out of whatever he was in.

"Artemis Fowl, explain _this" –_ he waved his hands around the room, gesturing at everyone present – "immediately. And how come everyone but I know about your little affair with this, apparently, ninety year old _child._"

This was becoming an annoying habit. Though this time talking a way out of our position was quite complicated...

I started with: "Do you believe in fairytales?"

"Fairytales?" My father repeated. "What kind of fairytales?"

"You know, that at the end of the rainbow is a fairy with a pot of gold." I tried to say nonchalantly. Of course, I wouldn't be a genius if I didn't get the genes from someone else.

"You're trying to say that this kid is some elf?" I nodded slowly in confirmation. "You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?" He shook his head. "I know that many boys are into _kinky _stuff. Like dressing up and such. Heck, even your mother and I dress up regularly. Like yesterday on the boat we had this maid uniforms..." _Too much information. _ "Anyway, dressing up as an elf isn't really the point."

Oh, he thought it was dressing up. Phew, that is quite alright.

"I have always known that being born as smart as you are must have its handicaps too." Wait. He was _not _going there. "Pedophilia is a sort of disease that sometimes starts in the brain when a baby is conceived. It is nothing you can do about, son. But you must know that it is against the law. I'm seriously thinking about disowning you now!" He raised his voice a little at the end.

"It is not like that, Father!" I looked at Holly, who was still frozen in spot. Juliet was no help either, she was shaking with silent laughter. I then looked pleadingly at my mother.

"Timmy, just hear the boy out." But my father turned toward her.

"You _knew_ about your son having a relationship with a _kid_?"

"Dad... just listen to her. To me." I said. "It's about time to start believing in fairytales, Father."

"I'm not going to listen to you like your _mistress _did. What did you tell her, that she'd get something sweet if she followed you here?"

**Holly POV**

"I'm not going to listen to you like your _mistress _did. What did you tell her, that she'd get something sweet if she followed you here?" I heard Mr Fowl say to Artemis. It snapped me out of my dazed state of mind to protect _my _Arty from his fathers words.

I looked him straight in the eyes and said: "He did do no such thing. I was basically the one who seduced him."

"So you're saying that my son is able to be seduced by kids?" Ugh. He really wasn't open minded at all.

I got up and walked towards him, with the sheet still wrapped around me, of course. "I. Am. Not. A. Kid!" With each word I said I stabbed his chest with my finger. The older Fowl actually cowered away at my sudden outburst. "These-" I said, pulling at my pointed ears, "- are real. Not some dress up article or part of any kinky fantasy."

And that was when my boyfriend's father fainted. Way to go! Good job, Holly. Very nice first impression. Angeline rushed to him and apologized for his actions. "He didn't know any better." Was her excuse. A soft smile graced her features, strengthening her apology. They left the room, taking Juliet with them.

Exhausted from this rough wake up I dropped next to my boyfriend on his bed. He eyed me with lust filled in his eyes, I knew she sheets must've shifted when I dropped next to him. "I know I should be mad at you for shouting at my father. Family comes first, you know. But that was..." He contemplated, not knowing which word he should be using right now. "... hot. For I have no better description."

I bit my lip, blushing furiously. My outburst was a little out of place, maybe. When Artemis rolled on top of me I knew I was forgiven and would even be rewarded for my effort.

Halfway through we heard coughing at the door. We stopped moving and looked at our visitor. "Next time you're planning on doing _anything _like that. Don't forget to close the door. The whole hallway could enjoy with you." Butler said groggily. Damn, we woke him up. I looked at Artemis who was still hovering above me and he was blushing just as hard as I was.

"W-we will." I said with a small voice.

Butler laughed at the situation, of course, he didn't know what happened a little while ago. "Enjoy yourself." He turned to walk away. "Oh, and don't forget about protection!"

Awkward.

But definitely not as bad as his father walking in on us.

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**Artemis POV**

Half an hour later we decided to make breakfast. Holly's stomach worked as an excellent alarm. Through the whole mansion hung the sweet scent of freshly baked bread which just increased our hunger. We arrived at the living room and everything was in place already. Large baskets of bread and fruit were placed on the table. And soft hissing of bacon being baked could be heard from the kitchen, also known as 'Butlers Domain'.

Also present at the table were Juliet, my mother and my father. Who had overcome the initial shock and was still looking with disbelief in his eyes at Holly, who was only wearing one of my button-down shirts, they covered enough of her body. She quickly closed the top button when she noticed the company.

Neither of us spoke as we started breakfast. Holly and I quickly devoured anything that could be devoured, the activities of this morning and last night had drained us more than we thought. I heard my girl sigh contently as she swallowed the last piece of a croissant.

Then all sounds of eating stopped and another uncomfortable silence followed. Only to be interrupted a minute later by my father coughing. "Ahem." He looked embarrassed too. "I must apologize for my behavior this morning, but you must know that I had no idea." Holly nodded.

"I'm sorry that you had to walk in on us during... you know. Not the best first impression a girl could have by the father of her boyfriend." I laughed at Holly's short apology. "And I know it what it must've seemed like. Seeing your son with girl that is exactly one meter tall."

"I understand." My father said but then he looked at me sternly. "You have some explaining to do, son. How come everyone except for me know of your escapees with the fairies. Scratch that, how do you know the fairies, _at all?_"

"You know a few years ago, when you'd been captured by the Russians?" He swallowed, it was one of the few subjects that we never had discussed in our house. Simply because it was just too painful. "It all started when the family fortune started to diminish. I came across a few legends and went looking for more clues. Eventually I found proof of the existence of fairies and decided to take action. Starting by kidnapping a fairy for a pot of gold..."

I told my father everything, well everything he needed to know. Nothing more. I started with the kidnapping and continued through the Opal rebellion, his rescue, Jon Spiro, Koboi's return, Hybras and Minerva, the cure to my mothers sickness and ending with how I had to tell Angeline.

"... until a few weeks ago I hadn't seen Holly for over two years. I gave her a gift at her birthday and ever since we had been together. And the relationship is quite... serious... as you saw this morning." That was the end of my explanation.

"There was nothing serious about this morning. You were more teasing each other than doing anything remotely close to serious." Butler just had to interject when he came to drop off a few eggs at the table.

"Butler..." I hissed at him.

"Seriously. I know you like each other and I'm completely okay with that. But others don't have to enjoy with you when you do those things. Just close the door!" Holly and I were horrified that Butler had opened his mouth before our parents. But when my father started laughing and my shortly my mother followed I knew that it was alright.

"But then again. I know where it comes from." That one sentence silenced my parents completely. "I know a certain period of three years that I didn't have to protect someone and came across several awkward moments, don't you agree, Mr Fowl?"

"Too much info, Dom!" Holly exclaimed.

Just then my father stood up and walked towards Holly. "I think it's best that we start anew. I'm Artemis Fowl and I am pleased to meet the lovely girl that changed my son." He held out his hand for Holly to shake.

She took his hand and said, "Major Holly Short, but just call be Holly. It's a pleasure to meet one of the few people that Artemis respects and loves."

Then, much to my surprise, my father hugged her and thanked her for everything. It could be heard from the rawness in his voice. He thanked her for healing my mother, saving his life, saving _my _life and changing me for the better. With just the two words he spoke all he thanked for all those things. "Thank you." He looked at me over Holly's shoulder and I knew that she had his blessing, that she was good enough for me. But that stare also said one more thing. That he thought that _I _was good enough for _her. _

When he pulled away from Holly, she wiped a few tears from her eyes. "You're not good for my son, you're perfect." My father spoke sincerely.

"T-thank you." Holly sniffed. I took her in my arms and hugged her close to me. All would be well. We were together, my family approved and nothing could keep us apart.

"When am I going to get grand children?" My father said happily. We blushed furiously. "And now you're blushing! Why? It certainly isn't a subject you don't want the world to know about. After all, you even do _it _with the doors wide open."

Sometimes I thought the universe was just against me. But as long as the same universe kept Holly in my arms as she was now, it was impossible to hate the vast depths of it.

**Writers POV**

Yeah, Artemis. You believe that _now. _Just you wait. The universe, AKA me, could very well be against you. And when you least expect it, it will strike with unending force, shaking you up so badly you wished you were never born.

Be afraid.

And at that moment Artemis shivered and looked around nervously. _The universe didn't hear me, did he?_

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**A/N **

So. That was that.

The second to last chapter. Only an epilogue follows and I have an idea for that one.

It was fun to write this story and great to read all the positive replies I have gotten. Thanks to your support I completed this story.

The epilogue will come in around 7-8 days. I am busy with the end of the year. Tests are coming up, etc.

Review, say what you liked or didn't like. Anything is welcome as a review except for flames. Stating something you think could be improved is not rude but helpful instead. This counts not only for this chapter but also for all previous chapters. (yes, I know about the OOCness of the characters, but say something else). Saying anything I could/need to improve will improve my writing for anything that I may or may not write in the nearby future.

Nope, there will also be no sequel. I know that for sure ;)

See you all later!

Ciao!

Bye.

Doei

Au revoir.

Hasta la vista

Sayonara

Auf wiedersehen

(sorry :P)


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